Thoughts of fatherhood on the brink of being a father again:
The book of 1 Kings, Chapter 2* in the Bible documents King David handing over his title to his son Solomon, to reign as king after him (*you can read it for free on line at Bible Gateway (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20kings%202&version=NIV).
Today as I read this Bible passage, I was reminded by God that He has blessed me as a father the four times over. It led me to think about my responsibilities to these 4 sons God has entrusted to me.
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| My 3 sons ... the 4th one's still a bun in the oven. |
Country Music & the Facts of Life
My wife cannot understand why I like Country Music. Lately, I discovered this singer Craig Cambell. He has this song called “You Probably Ain’t” and the words go like this:
“Country is a way of life that’s almost gone.
It’s more than the clothes you wear, or how you sing a song.
It’s about being honest and working hard,
looking someone in the eye, being who you say you are."
I like country music because they don’t complicate matters. Life choices are basically simple - it’s about being civil and kind to one another, to put our effort into working for what is right and saddling up for battle even when your heart’s pounding.
But while life choices are simple, life often is not. Country songs reflect the realities of life - of the heartaches of love lost and the regrets of missed chances. These are inevitable when we live in a world damaged by sin. Living a less than perfect life reflects not on a man’s character, it is the choices he has made that are the true test.
1. A father, therefore, first needs to teach his sons to make right choices, in a world that is often not right.
King David had these words to Solomon:
“2 “I am about to go the way of all the earth,” he said. “So be strong, act like a man, 3 and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.’”(1 Kings 2: 2 – 3)
What surprised me today as I read the rest of the passage was that King David did not settle the affairs of his kingdom before handing it over to Solomon. He had a list of political foes and unrighteous men that he wanted Solomon to deal with as king. Should he not have made it a smooth transition, rather than leave these unsavoury task to a new and relatively inexperienced king?
It struck me that King David had learnt (probably from his own hard life) that a father should not, in fact, he cannot, shelter his sons from all the challenges in life. We see in our society, parents who try valiantly to protect their children from every possible difficulty and shield them from every conceivable failure. The result of all this has resulted in what a local politician has called the ‘tofu’ generation; not man and women who stand up on their own feet but crumble at the barest hint of adversity.
2. A father has to teach his sons, the courage to face adversity rather than run from them.
God Himself models this for us – He saw the sins of the world and could have willed its destruction. Yet He chose the more difficult decision – to send His own Son to this world, to teach His love for us and to demonstrate this by suffering and dying for our sins on the cross. In doing so, God offers us that avenue to accept His salvation and become His children.
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5: 1 – 5)
Even as His Children, God does not shield Christians from the pain and suffering of life here on earth. What He does promise is in every one of these difficult times, we will find Him and His love; and in this to find the strength to make the right and difficult decision. In accepting God as our heavenly Father, we learn that He is the only father who not only can promise to be with us all the time but also give us the strength to making life's tough choices.
In Him, and only in Him, men find the perfect role model and the strength to be the men they were created to be; and how the world needs men like these.
3. So finally, fathers are to teach his sons, as King David did, the fear and love of God.
If you have to tell me how to dress to be a man ...
Today in the newspapers, a male writer argued that a 'manly' man should embrace buying expensive underwear, that spending considerable amounts of money on undergarments that make his behind look good is important.
As Craig Campbell sings “You can talk to me about tractors, cowboy boots and pickup trucks … if you’ve got to tell me how country you are – you probably ain’t.”. Think about that ...
The fourth kid, waiting to say "Hi!" in a month's time...stay tuned.
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