When I think of how to describe my son Jonah to you, I think of the movie "Sound of Music", the part where the nuns throw up their hands in exasperation at the undefinable, uncontrollable, yet lovable Maria.
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A fibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A Clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
How we chose his name
Friends have told us that we were asking for it, naming him after Jonah in the Bible - well known for resisting God's call to do what is right, running off in the opposite direction and repenting only when he ended up in a whale's belly.
But actually we chose the name after watching the show "Sleepless in Seattle".... yes, I guess that boy in the show had a mind of his own too. But when Jonah was born my first impression was that he was God's special gift to me. He had a large round head and large round eyes exactly like those cute cartoon characters that I adore.
'Take Care of Yourself'
Born the third son into our family when his two older brothers were also young and needing much care, he learnt quickly to wait while we tended to his brothers. He was really good at this, sitting with googly eyes quietly in a corner on his high chair staring into space while stuffing snacks into his mouth.
In this video of grandma's birthday, you see him sitting on grandma's lap looking 'blur' while his two older brothers steal the limelight and dictate what they wanted.
'You have to help me'
As the years went by and the brothers grew up, the balance tilted - more and more we expected his older brothers to take care of themselves and help with Jonah. This 'you have to help me' mentality became so imprinted in his mind that when Jonah watched the movie "Happy Feet" (about this awkward penguin coming of age) his one comment was when the penguin was left to fend for himself "Why his Pa Pa and Mummy never take care of him?"
'An inexplicable amalgam'
So Jonah is this curious mix of personalities. His favourite activity is lying on the floor with his books or LEGO toys, talking to himself, living in another world in his mind. He leaves spots of messiness all over the house, expecting things to be picked up after him. He hates to go out but if he has to, he brings books to bury his nose in. He eats what he likes and would rather not eat if the food is not to his liking.
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| Jonah & Samuel |
'Take Care of Yourself' Again
With the arrival of Samuel last year, unfortunately, Jonah has again been relegated back to the 'take care of yourself' status. It was hard for him while waiting for Samuel's arrival. He frequently took out his baby photos to ask us 'I was a really cute baby, right?'. He was working through the emotions of giving up his 'baby of the family' status. To his credit, he's been nothing but loving to Samuel since his arrival.
School starts and it all falls apart
As the school year started, we noticed that Jonah could not follow his home routines, his chores were undone, homework was sloppy. He slept late, forgot piano practise, everyday he appeared scruffy in his school uniform. Of course this riled me no end, especially now that most of our energy was spent on taking care of Samuel. Why couldn't he make life easier for me?
Scolding don't help
One night last week Jonah received a whole string of scolding from me (I even scolded him for having a nose bleed - but that's another story). He went to bed sad and it made me stop to think. Honestly I felt like that grumpy chap in the movie 'Despicable Me' before he learnt to be a good Dad.
In my quietness, I heard God say to me "He wants you to journey with him". Journey - what did that mean? Then it struck me - I was letting Jonah struggle on his own, obviously beyond his capability. I had made the classic parent mistake of thinking all the boys are the same. Instead of coaching and helping him, I was a harsh judge of his inadequacies on the sidelines. Not only did that tear him down, it created negative emotions for me.
A Traveling Companion
So now, Jonah and I have a nightly routine that intersects at key points. We pack his school bag together for the next day and end the night with 10 minutes of story reading; then prayer before sleep. The day we started it, he was so pleased, he went to bed beaming. I told Marie "I spent the same amount of time with him but got a much better and happier outcome."
So now, Jonah and I have a nightly routine that intersects at key points. We pack his school bag together for the next day and end the night with 10 minutes of story reading; then prayer before sleep. The day we started it, he was so pleased, he went to bed beaming. I told Marie "I spent the same amount of time with him but got a much better and happier outcome."
As I learnt how to be a better earthly father, God reminded me that He is the perfect, heavenly Dad. Often I struggle to the point of exhaustion and frustration with the challenges in life as if I'm going it alone. Jesus offers us this partnership 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 29 - 30, from Biblegateway.com
Again it is mentioned in Hebrews 4: 10 - 11a of God's invitation to rest - "10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works,[e] just as God did from his. 11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest," from Biblegateway.com
Jonah still has to complete his daily routines but he now finds them less of a chore with my help. So too God does not take us out of our lives here on earth. What He promises is His constant presence by our side. We no longer need to struggle at it alone but can rest in the peace that when we cannot handle something, God takes care of it. We are blessed children indeed.
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| A proud moment for Jonah - when he lost his first tooth. |
Addendum 22 January 2012
For those who've not watched the movie "Sleepless in Seattle" - here's a few snippets from YouTube:
You hear how loud Tom Hanks can shout "Jonah!". You get the other reason why we chose that name?
Snippets from the movie to the song "A Wink and A Smile" by Harry Connick Jr.
The final scene where all the "If only..." and "What if..." find there happy conclusion.
