It's the School Holidays!

My Neighbour Totoro by Hayao Miyazake
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Neighbor_Totoro

Schools Out!

You say "School Holidays!" and I think "Sunny blue sky, white clouds, days of doing nothing, with a dash of excitement thrown in. There is an anticipation that something magical will happen (if you ever catch the anime "My Neighbour Totoro", you'll see how the show captures this imagery perfectly). 

Magical Moment...

The magical moment for me this school holiday? One afternoon with Caleb and Jonah down at the beach. I eagerly pointed out to them this little cuttlefish attacking a school of fish - how it made itself torpedo-shaped and flashed a different colour each time it shot forward toward its prey. I was enthralled until Jonah said "Can we go now? I'm getting sea sick!". 

Hokkaido?

So what's with skiing in Hokkaido this year? It seems like every other person I spoke to this year was going to Hokkaido for a ski holiday. Did I want to bring my family to Hokkaido too? Sure, I did but for two reasons. One, it would be unwise to bring a 7 week old baby on such a trip. Two, even if I could have done that, I don't think financially it would have been wise to do so. Frankly as the provider of the family, I sort of felt bad that I wasn't able to afford such a trip.

Holiday Success...Memories

Sentosa 2000

So I don't know if this is a defensive mechanism or not but I want to argue that the success of a vacation does not depend on how far or exotic a place you go to for holiday. Success is whether the holiday created for your children or yourself memories that will last a life time. 

Why are these memories important? A pastor once said "We all begin childhood with the belief that happiness is possible ..."; and along the way ... well, you and I know what happened along the way. I believe this happened because we forget to take time to create these memories as reminders that hope and joy are possible in the grind of our daily lives. How often have we met people who seem just weary of their lives? Time to take a break!

God Approved :)

This is so important that God commands it. If your company has asked of you to take mandatory leave, this still cannot compare to the seriousness God sees in taking time from work to issue it as a commandment. In Exodus 20:8 - 11 God tells us to ...“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."

Sentosa 2004

Childhood Memories

Thanks  to my parents, my childhood memories are made up of beach holidays - anticipating the smell of the sea as we arrive, white sandy beaches, coloured seashells, the salty taste of sea-water, catching sea creatures, breakfasts of sunny side-ups and marmalade on toast by the sea, being roasted by the sun to a crisp while Mum nagged us (to no effect) on applying sunblock; and Dad who made us squint into the sun every time he took a photo ( the age of non-digital cameras). 

So now that I am a Dad to 4 boys, I try to create these magical moments for them too. More often than not we ended up having a beach holiday. Over the years, we seemed to gravitate back to Rasa Sentosa. This time with a seven week old baby, it was helpful to be back in familiar territory and it was nice to hear a cheery 'Welcome back!' from the front desk. At the end of this year's 3 days, 2 nights stay, I am pleased to say that magical moments were created. A buffet lunch, our first night cable car ride, running after the last bus back to the hotel, zooming downhill on the Luge, kayaking and of course that little cuttlefish. So maybe I needn't feel bad that the family didn't get to go to Hokkaido.

Memories now ... Character later

Sentosa 2011

On our way back from Sentosa, we made a detour to Vivo City (a large shopping mall) as all 'good' Singaporeans are apt to do (what's a holiday without shopping right ?). At the car park, Jonah said 'Hey Pa Pa, this is where we had our adventure!'. Two or three years ago, Jonah and I had gone to a toy shop at Vivo at night, only to find all access to the car park blocked at that late hour. We were getting increasingly anxious till we finally found a way to the car. He remembers the relief when we finally got back home safe and sound. To this day, he still brings it up regularly as 'our adventure'. I would like to believe that in time to come, when he meets road blocks and barriers in his life, this memory will give him strength to press on, believing there is a way home to safety.

So how was your holidays?

School Results (PSLE) - What I'm learning about school grades

Thanksgiving!
So 巧 or co-incidental that this year's 24th November was my eldest son, Joshua's Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) results' release, my youngest son, Samuel's one month celebration (both rites of passage in our local community) and the U.S. Thanksgiving. It was indeed a good day to give thanks.

My handsome sons:
Joshua (12 years) & Samuel (1 month)

Pursuing Grades - of this World or not?
Living here where academic excellence is do or die, where parents spend inordinate amounts of money on extra classes for their kids and say that they feel like they themselves are going through their kids' exams, I've always asked myself "How should Christian parents live differently?" 


If the Bible calls us to be in this world but not of this world, to avoid conformity to the patterns of the world - should we rush them from school to tuition to enrichment classes all day long and celebrate only when the kids bring back top marks? The local phrase we use is "怕输" - "scared to lose"; or in proper English "Fear of failure". Are we as Christians just as scared to lose as our non-Christian counter-parts? If we are then is there something missing in our faith?


Our words betray us?
And what should Christian parents say when asked about their childrens' results? The standard answer seems to be "Oh, none of it is my credit, it's all to the glory of God." Personally I find these answers unsatisfactory. It cannot apply to all situations and is mostly used by parents when their children get good grades. What of children who do not get 'good' grades, did they not bring glory to God? Or if grades were blessings from God, were they not blessed because they've not been 'good' somehow?


Good Grades or Good God?
In my musings I have come to realise that there are two dangers with pursuit of good grades:
1. That it is but the start of chasing after things in life that leads us to be defined by things, such as a great career, wealth, fame, good looks etc., rather than to be defined by the identity we have in Jesus and His death for us on the cross.


2. That we look at grades as an assurance of success and security in life when they are actually only options and choices for life's next steps. Every grade gives an option, there are no dead ends, especially when we are under God's care.


As I have written in my recent blogs - those who believe that worldly success brings joy and fulfils our hearts' deepest yearnings often learn regretfully that this is not true. My wife asked me why I was rather sanguine about the whole PSLE thing and my reply was that after working this number of years, I have realised that the amount of emphasis we place on academic excellence is somewhat misplaced. Those who only know how to study for grades are often lacking in social skills that are even more important in the workplace.


What I learnt from Joseph
During this period God brought me back to the life of Joseph (for those who are not familiar with this man in the Bible - look him up in Genesis 37 - 41. You can go to Bible Gateway http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis%2037%20-%2041&version=NIV)


Joseph was the favourite son of Jacob, the patriarch of the nation of Israel. Unfortunately, Joseph's brothers were so gripped with jealousy and envy that they plotted and succeeded in selling him to Egypt as a slave. This led to years of incarceration and slavery for Joseph till God's gifting on him were finally recognised by the pharaoh of Egypt through a series of events. Through these difficult years Joseph had but one option, to wait patiently for God to act. Eventually, God elevated him to a position second only to the Pharaoh and saved the people of Egypt from a devastating drought.


Honestly, which parent would not want for their child to be in Joseph's final position in Egypt? Probably all. But which parent would want their child to go through the journey to get there? Probably none. Yet the learning point is this, Joseph's life (and the rest of ours for that matter) was not something that could be engineered by man, only by God. So if Joseph had lived in modern times, none of those extra classes, top marks, top schools would have led to that position of 'success' that parents so desire for their children.


So what grades did Joshua really get?
You may think after all this that the reason why I'm writing this is because Joshua's results were not so good. The truth is that Joshua got good solid results, enough to get him to the school of his choice* and to have options to choose courses he desires. He is pleased with himself as we are with him. He may not have appeared on any 'top' lists but his results are a good reflection of the solid, consistent work that he has done through the year. Marie and I were already proud of him, his discipline and determination in his studies before the results were out.
* I am not writing down Joshua's actual results because he has already posted them on his own facebook page and I am of a generation that is more discreet when it comes to public announcement of grades.


I'm still learning too...
The real reason why I'm writing this is because I am no less affected by the pressures of academic success. I too get unhappy when the boys come home with 'not good' results. I have grown up with the belief that top grades are everything; and I believe within me I have much pride over this. But I hope I'm learning ...


I tried to be different when I was at school waiting for Joshua's PSLE results. To a mom whose son got top marks and gave me the usual 'It's not me, it's all God' spiel, I said, "You know, which ever grades our sons get, it's the exact grade that he needs - and that's what God has given to them." I got this blank, non-comprehending look, perhaps because I truly took the glory and gave it to God, not to her or her son. I'm still not sure this is the best way but I think it's a step in the right direction.


Edited by lovely wife, Marie ...

A Broken Fairy Tale

My wife tells me that if I publish this particular blog, I will have declared to many that I'm a secret celebrity junkie and that my favourite TV Channel is E! Entertainment. No shame there, I think ... for someone who likes stories, the modern celebrity is the fairy tales of old equivalent. There, did it, clicked on the Publish button and so now you know...

What Happened to Happily Ever After?
So if you're like me (secret or otherwise) and follow all things celebrity, you would have known that Reality TV Star, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from her husband, Basketballer Kris Humphries on Halloween, a mere 72 days after their wedding (http://www.eonline.com/news/its_over_kim_kardashian_files_divorce/272506#ixzz1cvuGl5Sz)

“I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each  other the best” 

(Source: quptes.whyfame.com)

It's hard to love a show-off...

Source: urbanspit.com

Honestly, when I first read of the divorce on the internet I was secretly pleased. Their million dollar wedding, one of those reality TV things, was so in your face opulent and glamorous it had but one message "Too bad you're not rich and famous like me to have this sort of wedding ... so watch and weep."

But as things unfolded my sentiments changed. In as many interviews she gave after the divorce, Ms. Kardashian emphatically said that divorce was not what she had wanted - that she had wanted to be in love, to have a long and happy marriage, to have children. It was the irony of it all that struck me. How could you be smug or judgemental about this lady who seemed to have it all - beauty, wealth and and fame, yet still have what she  wanted elude her?

But who doesn't want to be loved ...

Click for Web Link

I am reminded of a scene from the movie "Notting Hill". This movie with Julia Robert's character as a world famous American movie star who fell in love with Hugh Grant's character, the owner of a quirky bookshop. Near the end of the movie, after several starts and stops to their romance, Julia Robert's character goes to the bookshop and opens her heart to him saying "The fame thing isn’t real … you know … I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." Of course, as it should be in any good romantic movie, never mind the near impossibility of an international movie star's marriage to a poor bookshop owner, they marry and live happily ever after.

Real Life demands Real Love

Sadly for Ms Kardashian, real life is not the same as the movies. She wanted intimacy but what she got instead was a broken heart, the attention of the paparazzi and numerous scornful comments that this was a sham marriage for money. Why? Shouldn't love and happiness be the natural outcome of someone with physical and financial assets? It seems, contrary to what the World tells us, not. Recently also in the local newspapers I read the story of this chap who is so enamoured by his iPhone 4S Siri that he asks this electronic thing to marry him everyday. 

The moral of the story is that it doesn't matter who you are - rich and famous or only known to your speaking mobile phone - deep in our hearts is that desire to be loved and known. The Bible tells us that this need, first and foremost, is only met fully by the God of the Bible. He is the only one who knows you even before you're born, who knows your imperfections yet loves you perfectly (can you imagine what it means to be loved perfectly?); and has the power, resources and ability to effect His loving intentions.

We often hear people say that they would do anything for love. From what I understand from the Kim Kardashian's interviews, she certainly was not willing to give up Hollywood for love - which was what her husband wanted, to leave the crazy limelight and have kids in Small Town, USA.

But the cross is our promise that God not only says He loves us but acts accordingly and succeeds every time in giving to us the love that we need.

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3: 16, NIV, Biblegateway.com)

And so we can be sure:

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38 - 39, NIV, Biblegateway.com)

So the moral of the story is ...

While million dollar weddings are out of reach for most of us everyday man, let us be thankful that this is not a prerequisite to being known and being loved. 


Do you want real love or are you still waiting for that fairy tale to become real?

The Arrival Makes 4!

We Welcome a New Arrival!

So after an eight year break from milk bottles and diapers, our fourth son, Samuel, was born 24th October, 2:25 am, weighing 3.5kg. Our hope that this time we could welcome a new baby into our lives during office hours was dashed once again.

Being Present in The Moment
So was the fourth time round any different? I think we could appreciate the significant moments of this delivery more because we knew what to anticipate and also to filter out things of little import. We planned instead of panicking. We even had more control over how we wanted the events to unfold.

Still chance for a good meal first ..

I had a second meal
at midnight

On Sunday morning Marie felt out of sorts and spent the day at home. The contractions started in the late afternoon but she felt there was time to have a good dinner before admission. We decided to try a newly renovated hawker centre in Toa Payoh. When that was done, After dinner we brought the car to the car wash first because we didn't know when would be the next time we could get it cleaned. You'd be surprised how good it is to discuss things in the car wash. The car foam blocks out the external world and muffles the noise, creating a quiet, intimate moment for talking. It was here in the midst of the car wash that we decided it was time to go to the hospital.

Execute the Plan
Once we decided, it was getting the children packed for a stay over. We were going to send them to Marie's sister, Joanne's place because she stayed nearby. Her husband Mok had  kindly agreed to drive them to my parents' for the night. For ease of packing, we told the kids that they were excused from school the next day. We thought they would be ecstatic but instead got uncertain looks 'Er...but we have exams tomorrow and the day after.'. We were already starting to learn that the lives of the rest of the family could not shut down just because this new baby was coming. This spawned a second frenzied round of packing for school before we were off!

Are you sure?
So we were somewhat disappointed at the hospital when Marie was strapped on to the CTG machine that the nurses told us there was a big NOTHING! No contractions were seen. Marie was repeatedly asked if she was sure of the contractions, was she sure she had pain, which really didn't make us feel any better. We prayed and put the situation in God's hands. Later Marie told me that in her heart, she told God that this had to be it because she didn't want to have to go through all the arrangements and packing again (earlier in the week we had already had one false alarm - we had packed everyone off to a non-event).

The red line is Samuel's heart beat,
The black line is Marie's contractions

Within the hour, the machine was recording strong, regular contractions, exactly what the nurses were hoping to see. Then to our surprise, her obstetrician Ann appeared in full make up, jewellery and a gown. She had been at a dinner function and hadn't heard her phone ring till now. Thank God she hadn't arrived earlier to send us home.

Knowing what we wanted
Our past experience had also helped us to clarify and articulate what we wanted.. We made it very clear that Marie wanted an epidural and we wanted it to work (the epidural during her third pregnancy didn't work). Yes, we know there're all these controversies about the epidural but personally I don't see how bearing the pain of childbirth makes you a better mother than one who does not. It worked really well this time and it gave Marie and I the opportunity to have a good time talking and enjoying each other's company.

Good progress and then ...

The little train icon chugs along with the sound of
Samuel's heart beat. Very cute, looks and sounds like
a real train.

The labour progressed really well and fast. Within 4 - 5 hours of admission to the hospital, Marie was fully dilated.  The obstetrician said "Daddy go take out the camera. Baby's coming out."...and that's when Samuel got stuck. I could see the obstetrician getting somewhat vexed and the tension in the room rose. I know because I've been in these situations before. One moment everything seems fine and I'm happily chatting with the patient. The next, nothing seems to be going well and I'm muttering under my breath and frowning. So what should one do in such situations? One word of advice "Let the professionals do their job" They've trained for moments like these, they know what's the best

So I played the part of the excited father, trying my bestest not to get in the way while trying to get the best angle for the shot, yet somehow getting into everybody's way.

Marie was stoic and bravely pushed with all her might. I can see why Ann had sent her to pilates class during her pregnancy. This really helped her to use her core muscles to push.

Eventually though Ann had to attach a vacuum to Samuel's scalp. It seemed that every time Marie stopped pushing, Samuel slid back in again. At one point, the vacuum slipped off and had to be re-attached. When Samuel was delivered, there was an angry red round welt on his head.

Hello!
Finally, miraculously, Samuel's head, then shoulders, then finally his whole body was out. Looking at the exit site, I am always amazed how a baby ever squeezes his way out of the mother's body. He had arrived!

What he looks like with no makeup!

Firsts and Lasts...

The Proud Pa Pa!

As I watched Samuel crying under the warmer, it struck me that the situation was a contradiction of firsts and lasts. The many firsts for Samuel - first cry, first breath, first breast feeding, first steps. But for Marie and I, it will be our last pregnancy, last delivery, last time we do night feeds, last time we wean an infant, last time we register a child for school ...

First Family Photo

For me, the significance of the moment was the feeling I had that I had turned a corner in my life and had come to a new place, a new place where that there would be less and less firsts for myself; but more and more firsts for my boys. A generation had passed and a new generation has arrived. I suddenly felt my age, not in a bad way but in a good way. At 40+ with a lovely wife and 4 healthy, handsome sons, God has certainly blessed me in my 4 decades.

Epilogue:
So how is it like taking care of a baby the fourth time? In general, we're more relaxed. A case in point - the day after the delivery, the nurse pushed Samuel into the room for feeding and we said "No, no, no - keep him in the nursery first. We still want to rest!" (actually we were watching a movie on the TV:). The nurse gave us this look which clearly said "What sort of parents are you?" but as I see it, I still have 20 years of child raising, nothing wrong if I start one or two days later.

At home, I'm no longer anxious if Samuel doesn't fall asleep straight away. If he's not drinking but awake, I put him in the rocker. If he's fine, leave him; if he cries, pick him up. If he's sleepy, put him down and let him sleep. I am getting less sleep but the funny thing is, it seems that Samuel is also less difficult to settle. Perhaps children are a reflection of their parents ... something to think about , not just for Samuel but for Joshua, Caleb and Jonah too...  
Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5: 1-2

Joshua, Caleb, Jonah & Samuel

It's OK to want - It's what you want that matters

I need to qualify:

I don't usually post again so quickly but I felt a disquiet after my last post. The way I wrote, it was as if it is wrong to want more, to have more. Yes, it's challening to have the wealth of King Solomon but it's not necessarily wrong... after all, what we have all come from God.

I mentioned that our hearts are basically orientated to want more. It struck me this is fundamentally true. Our hearts are made to want more of God. Things go awry when what we want is not more of God but of the things in this world. (Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world., 1 John 2: 15 - 16, NIV, BibleGateway.com)

What we don't want to become:
To tell ourselves "It's wrong to want! It's wrong to want!" is not the right approach because we will become one of two types of people.

One, we become resentful of those who have more than us. My family and I were once in a situation where the new things we had, the clothes we wore, the choices we made were constantly judged to be extravagant. It was difficult, frustrating and stressful. If the intent was meant to drive us to a simpler life, it certainly didn't work.

Two, we become Christians who have a veneer of cheer all the time - you know, those who have one foot stuck in poop and look to heaven to thank God that their other foot is not in it. If we believe that we are made to want more of heaven and God, we will instead grieve that feet get stuck in poop on earth and look to heaven to thank God that there will not be poop in heaven (my theory on no poop in heaven is interesting discussion for another time... if you folks are interested in such things :).

It is when we allow ourselves to want more - more of heaven and God; and to recognise that we live in a broken, fallen world where there is injustice, tragedies and grievious events that we become real, authentic people. Men and women in the Bible grieved - King David in the Psalms, the whole book of Job, Lamentations, Jeremiah; Hannah (Prophet Samuel's mother) grieved at the injustice of her bareness; and of course, Jesus grieved. The grief and discontent with this present world should drive us to pursue God, to have a foretaste now of what it will be like in Heaven (All these people were still living by faith when they died. … admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. … they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11: 13, 14, 16).

Jewels - we can't outshine God

Tiffany & Co. Rings

And for those of you who think that God is not aware of our desires for beautiful and precious things, this is how the Bible describes Heaven - 

"The wall was made of jasper, and the city of pure gold, as pure as glass. The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone. The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth ruby, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth turquoise, the eleventh jacinth, and the twelfth amethyst.The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of gold, as pure as transparent glass." 

( Revelation 21: 18 - 21, NIV, BibleGateway.com). 

I do not mean any disrespect when I say that heaven seems very 'bling-bling'. Those Tiffany & Co. http://www.tiffany.com/International.aspx fans out there - you ain't seen nothing yet till you've seen Heaven's jewels.

Joni Eareckson Tada

A Real Story:
There is a lady whom I feel daily embodies how one can learn to grieve about one's condition on earth but live with a vibrant, contented spirit while waiting for the promises of heaven. 

"A diving accident in 1967 left Joni Eareckson Tada a quadriplegic in a wheelchair". That means she has not been able to use her 4 limbs for the last 5 decades. She, has learnt through God to overcome her 'handicap' to achieve great things. To find our more of Joni, go to this link http://joniearecksontadastory.com/ and her website: http://www.joniandfriends.org/

Excerpts:
I give you a short excerpt from the Joni Eareckson Tada Story website:

God used this injury to develop in me patience and endurance and tolerance and self-control and steadfastness and sensitivity and love and joy. Those things didn’t matter much when I was on my feet but, boy, they began to matter after I began living life in a wheelchair.

Also, I began to get a buoyant, lively hope of heavenly glories above. In other words this wheelchair help me see that the good things in this life aren’t the best things. There are better things yet to come. The good things in this life are only omens and foreshadowing of more glorious, grand, great things to burst on the scene when we walk into the other side of eternity. For one thing, the Bible assures us that we’re going to have new bodies. First Corinthians, chapter 15, read it sometime for some encouragement. We learn there that one day we will have new hands, new legs that will walk, new hearts, new minds.

I can’t wait for the day when I’m given my brand new glorified body. I’m going to stand up, stretch, dance, kick, do a aerobics, comb my own hair, blow my own nose, and what is so poignant is that I’ll finally be able to wipe my own tears, but I won’t need to, because the Bible tells us in the book of Revelation that God will personally wipe away every tear. There will be no more need to cry. How ironic that finally on the day when I have my hands so I can blow my own nose and wipe own tears I won’t have to. 

As they said in the show 'Babe' - " 'nuff said".

For Isaac Yap - enjoy!

The Trials of Having Much

What's wrong with more?
What would you say if I said that the lavish riches King Solomon received was the cross that he had to bear for his life? Frankly, when God pointed that out to me, my first thoughts were "If that's a cross, let me have it." God was trying to teach me something - to 'Have' is not always better than to 'Have Not'.


Josh Sundquist
A few months ago I posted a link to a YouTube Video on Facebook  of a guy called Josh Sundquist: Josh Sundquist - Student Demo - Inspirational Speech.


I like his videos because he is genuinely funny and his videos are clever. What struck me even more after watching several of his videos was that he had only ONE leg! He lost his left leg to cancer as a seven year old child and it was really sad (his tells his story drawing them on a sketchbook in the videos - it's really cool); but because he's sitting in front of his computer in many of his videos and because he has such a bright, upbeat spirit, I didn't realise that he had lost a leg.


I thought I would get a massive response on Facebook to his video but all I got was 2 Likes - 1. My ever loyal and supportive wife (so maybe that's not even counted) and 2. My ex-Sunday School Superintendent.


Our sick hearts
Why were there such few responses? I came to the conclusion that it's the same as when we tell our children or when we heard as children "You better eat up all your food because there are starving children in Africa!" When has that ever taught us to be more appreciative of our food and to lick our platters clean?


We have never responded to this type of message because our hearts are basically orientated to wanting more, not less. When others have less than us, we are relieved that we 'have'. It drives us to want more, to get as far away from the 'have not' state as possible; rather than be thankful to God for what we have been blessed with. What God to know from me was "Do you believe that what you have is exactly what you need? Do you trust me?"

My Electric Blue Picanto
Have I ever told you about my electric blue Picanto? After a few years of running around Singapore by bus and MRT; and when the COE was at an all time low, I decided to buy a second car for myself. The price and the cute factor of the Picanto made it an obvious choice for me.


I decided to up the cute factor even further with two furry friends on the dashboard - Totoro (M) and Mr Nosey. 


A few months back when my wife, Marie and I were at a petrol station. The female pump attendant asked Marie when we stepped out of the car if the two toys were hers. 'No! They're his', she said. The pump attendant was so tickled by this that she couldn't stop laughing...and laughing ...and laughing. Well so much for my fragile male ego ....

Most days I enjoy zipping around in this little blue car. But there are some days, usually on days that don't go so well, that I look to the right and wonder why I'm not driving a Maserati or a Ferrari or a Porsche. Why do I not look left at the people crammed onto a bus and be thankful for my much improved situation? It's the "I want more; not less" Syndrome.


King Solomon and King David - whose life would you choose?
So coming back to King Solomon. God had blessed him with wisdom and wealth beyond any other man in the world at that time. As it is recorded in the Bible: "King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all the other kings of the earth." 1 Kings 10:23. 


As compared to King David, Solomon did not have to hide in caves, roam the country with his band of men like bandits, be chased by men intent on killing him - as was King David's lot. Yet his comfortable life did not engender a thankful spirit and faithfulness to God. In fact, they pulled him further and further away - "King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.”...He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray." (1 Kings 11:1-3) (OK, so you may argue that it's his many wives that pulled him away, not his wealth but I seriously doubt he could have had so many wives without first have the money).


As Christians who profess to believe in and love God, would you choose David's difficult life or Solomon's comfortable one? Is it the pursuit of comforts in our lives that drive our choices or the state of our hearts before God that matters?


"As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been." (1 Kings 11: 4).

Would you not agree that treasures and riches were Solomon's cross to bear in his life? Something to think about.


PS - just some housekeeping. I have just activated the 'RSS' thing on this blog (whatever that is). But now I am able to see my blog on my own mobile and it looks quite good (if I may say so myself). Do if you're keen ... please go ahead.

What's a Father got to do?

Thoughts of fatherhood on the brink of being a father again:

The book of 1 Kings, Chapter 2* in the Bible documents King David handing over his title to his son Solomon, to reign as king after him (*you can read it for free on line at Bible Gateway (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20kings%202&version=NIV).

Today as I read this Bible passage, I was reminded by God that He has blessed me as a father the four times over. It led me to think about my responsibilities to these 4 sons God has entrusted to me.

My 3 sons ... the 4th one's still a bun in the oven.

Country Music & the Facts of Life

My wife cannot understand why I like Country Music. Lately, I discovered this singer Craig Cambell. He has this song called “You Probably Ain’t” and the words go like this:

“Country is a way of life that’s almost gone. 

It’s more than the clothes you wear, or how you sing a song.

It’s about being honest and working hard, 

looking someone in the eye, being who you say you are."

I like country music because they don’t complicate matters. Life choices are basically simple - it’s about being civil and kind to one another, to put our effort into working for what is right and saddling up for battle even when your heart’s pounding. 

But while life choices are simple, life often is not. Country songs reflect the realities of life - of the heartaches of love lost and the regrets of missed chances. These are inevitable when we live in a world damaged by sin. Living a less than perfect life reflects not on a man’s character, it is the choices he has made that are the true test.

1. A father, therefore, first needs to teach his sons to make right choices, in a world that is often not right.

King David had these words to Solomon:

“² “I am about to go the way of all the earth,” he said. “So be strong, act like a man, ³ and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.’”(1 Kings 2: 2 – 3)

What surprised me today as I read the rest of the passage was that King David did not settle the affairs of his kingdom before handing it over to Solomon. He had a list of political foes and unrighteous men that he wanted Solomon to deal with as king. Should he not have made it a smooth transition, rather than leave these unsavoury task to a new and relatively inexperienced king?

It struck me that King David had learnt (probably from his own hard life) that a father should not, in fact, he cannot, shelter his sons from all the challenges in life. We see in our society, parents who try valiantly to protect their children from every possible difficulty and shield them from every conceivable failure. The result of all this has resulted in what a local politician has called the ‘tofu’ generation; not man and women who stand up on their own feet but crumble at the barest hint of adversity.

2. A father has to teach his sons, the courage to face adversity rather than run from them.

God Himself models this for us – He saw the sins of the world and could have willed its destruction. Yet He chose the more difficult decision – to send His own Son to this world, to teach His love for us and to demonstrate this by suffering and dying for our sins on the cross. In doing so, God offers us that avenue to accept His salvation and become His children.

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5: 1 – 5)

Even as His Children, God does not shield Christians from the pain and suffering of life here on earth. What He does promise is in every one of these difficult times, we will find Him and His love; and in this to find the strength to make the right and difficult decision. In accepting God as our heavenly Father, we learn that He is the only father who not only can promise to be with us all the time but also give us the strength to making life's tough choices.

In Him, and only in Him, men find the perfect role model and the strength to be the men they were created to be; and how the world needs men like these.

3. So finally, fathers are to teach his sons, as King David did, the fear and love of God.

If you have to tell me how to dress to be a man ...

Today in the newspapers, a male writer argued that a 'manly' man should embrace buying expensive underwear, that spending considerable amounts of money on undergarments that make his behind look good is important. 

As Craig Campbell sings “You can talk to me about tractors, cowboy boots and pickup trucks … if you’ve got to tell me how country you are – you probably ain’t.”. Think about that ...

           The fourth kid, waiting to say "Hi!" in a month's time...stay tuned.