Life Regrets
I accompanied my Dad to a doctor's visit recently. Anyone who knows Dad will tell you that he is a most kind and generous man. Yet, over the course of the consultation, my Dad spoke of his life regrets - of better choices he could have made, of friends' betrayals, of the life of a business man (he had always wanted to be a teacher).
Looking at Dad's life and what he has achieved, I don't think he has anything to be ashamed of. Still, for him, as for any one of us on this side of heaven, living life here in an imperfect world comes with its share of regrets.
In our forties (the age that I'm at), I sense our concern is of missed opportunities. We are often told that if we do not try harder or take greater risks, we will regret not grabbing the chances that came our way. In the year before Samuel arrived, Marie and I felt that our time taking care of small children at home had come to an end. The youngest had started school and we could begin to explore what God had planned for us outside of the home. Of course, the arrival of Samuel, while he was much welcomed, kicked all those exploratory plans back to square one again.
The "Life-ordinary"
As Marie and I discussed, it seemed God had called us to continue living the "life-ordinary". It felt especially so for Marie as a stay home mom, if you can even call raising four boys ordinary these days. But the daily grind of tending to the boys' daily needs, driving them around, providing their meals, nagging them to study - you cannot help the feeling of the mundane creeping up on you. The newspapers love to write stories of people who have a big brood of children and still achieve exceptional success in their careers. We are not such people - my full time job and running a household of fours boys was about as much as we both could handle.
"Was this small plot the only task that God found me worthy to tend?", Marie asked God but it is not only stay home moms who struggle with such feelings. While I think that my job contributes to the building of something significant in our society, even then the daily grind of meetings, reports, staff issues etc. get to me some days. I suspect that is why I love the "Lord of the Ring" Trilogy. These stories tell of men (and hobbits, dwarves, elves and other mythical beings) who donned gear and fought wars of seemingly impossible odds against evil because they knew it was doom for them and their families if they did not. In our hearts we all yearn to know that we are significant in such an obvious way.
Power
The thing though is that we hope to find in ourselves that special power, that special gift (which explains why the superhero / Twilight / Harry Potter movies are also so popular) that distinguish us from the rest of the crowd. Unfortunately or fortunately, that is not what the Bible tells us. Apart from God, there is nothing in us that can create anything of significance, especially of eternal significance. It is God's power and ability, working through us that changes the world around us; and is prayer that connects the eternal and temporal, that creates the extraordinary in the ordinary. The consistent theme in the "Lord of the Ring" story echos that. Those who grasped for power (the power of the ring), even for good intentions, were quickly seduced into evil by the power itself. It was the humble, unassuming and faithful Hobbits that won the day in the end.
Conduit
We recently learnt in church about miraculous healing through prayer. As one preacher taught us, when we pray, we become a conduit connecting God's healing power with those who are ill and hurting in our community. Marie was very keen to learn more of this, to have a greater part in this Ministry. "But how would I even come into contact with anyone sick?" she wondered. "Why don't you ask God to show you?" I suggested. After all, if this is God's work, surely He would also set things up.
The Extraordinary Experience
Around this time, God gave Marie an image as she cooked in our kitchen that it would not be just cooking smells that wafted out of our flat. It would also be the aroma of Christ "For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." 2 Corinthians 2:15. Quite soon after that, Marie bumped into two ladies staying in our block of flats and found out that they were suffering from serious illnesses. Around this time too we decided to meet with a group of friends from church to pray regularly in our home. We had opportunities to pray, encourage and even give practical help to these two ladies and others. After one of our prayer meetings, we bumped into one of the ladies at the lift lobby. There and then we had a spontaneous time of prayer together with her. She told us that through this difficult times, it seemed at every turn God was there to meet her needs. Even though this was not the best of times, she felt more spiritually alive than she had been in a long time. How amazing is that? When we desire to have a part to play in God's work, He always gives us a chance to join in.
Eyes on heaven, Feet on ground
Two other things happen during this period. Not so pleasant thing. One was the sad news that an eight year old boy who had been in coma for a year plus passed away. It was shocking and tragic. Many people in church were questioning why because there were people who said they had seen visions that this boy would wake up. To me there was no contradiction. Prayer helps us to see that there is a greater reality behind the veil of this physical world. Life does not end because it is ended on earth. The boy did wake up, just not on this side of heaven. The second incident was when one of our son's bike got stolen right in front of the gate of our flat. Sometime later Marie saw one of the neighbourhood boys with the bike (painted over of course). When Marie questioned him, he had answers to explain away the co-incidence that the two bikes looked so similar. Learning lesson? Lock your bikes up good. While we live in a spiritual reality, our feet are also planted squarely on this physical reality where people will take things that do not belong to them. The extraordinary and the ordinary interlaced and inter-phased - we need to learn to live as dual citizens in both worlds.
Connecting with the Extraordinary One
While I was on leave recently, I realised that it was very difficult to stop working. The work emails intruded into what should be my time to spend on myself and my family. Then it struck me that perhaps it was not the emails, it was me who could not stop working; that fundamentally I feared that I will not be significant if I do not find validation in my work. In John Chapter 4 in the Bible, Jesus stops by a well to ask a Samaritan woman for a drink. Did He really need a drink that He could not get for Himself? No. He asked for a drink so that he had a chance to connect with someone who had been spiritually thirsty for a long time. The years of trying to assuage this thirst with the ordinary things in this world had not worked. Jesus interrupted her daily routine of collecting water from the well - a very mundane, very everyday activity and in that moment the extraordinary exploded into the ordinary; and she was never the same again.
I need that; and I suspect many of us do - the only solution to ordinary is not more ordinary but to let the extraordinary explode into your life. Give it a try :)
(post script: apologies for this rather bare bone formatting and no pictures. Life is busy these days)
Sunday 2 December 2012
Sunday 28 October 2012
Burp Once for Guy Friends!
Friends - a fundamental need
We all need friends. Fundamentally we are all created to have a need to be known and then be liked for no other reason than the good company we provide. We need to know that for some inexplicable reason, our persons are interesting enough and our conversations are funny enough that someone in this whole wide world will want to hang out with us. We need friends more than we're willing to admit - we tell ourselves if we have a family, a good job, financial security, we're set for life. Our heart tells us that's just not true.
A lunch treat
So I am glad that recently I could have lunch with my good friends, Kian Woon and Kim Chan.
When I started my current job two years ago, it took several months before it hit me that Kim Chan's office was just right across the road. It would be an incredible waste if I did not make time to meet up with him for lunch. Late last year, Kian Woon's work place moved closer to ours as well. This was the first time in all my years of working that good friends were working close by. Knowing that in two years time my workplace would be moving to a new location, the opportunity to meet up with these friends regularly is all the more precious.
When we sat down to eat, it took us a while to get into the groove of old friendship. We tried a bit too hard to be nice to each other. For high school buddies who used to snatch food from each others' plates while in school, this was a bit unnatural. I was glad that we got past this initial awkwardness quickly and were soon throwing good natured taunts at one another. (My son Jonah learnt this phrase "good natured taunts" in his English writing class but when he wanted to use it in a composition, he forgot and wrote "well mannered curses" instead, to the great amusement of us all).
I regularly have to remind the perfectionist streak in me that not every encounter with friends needs to be a soul baring event. We talked about many things - family, work, mundane things. We heard that our mutual friends were mentioned in our alma mater as success stories; but not us. We wondered why for a while, shrugged our shoulders and moved on to other things - no big deal. At least for the moment, we cared not about status or success but that we enjoyed each other's company. We laughed a lot - we laughed at each other, laughed with each other. This was genuine, good-friends, no harm intended laughter. I had not felt so relaxed for a long time.
Burp once for guy friends ...
I'm going to say this out loud - guys need guy friends. It's not a gay thing because it has nothing to do with physical attraction. It has everything to do with being heard, understood and accepted. When physical attraction gets in the way, whether between a man-and-man or man-and-woman, the friendship is never quite the same. Harry explains this in the movie "When Harry met Sally":
As the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" tried to explain (I think so because I've never actually read it) when a man burps, to a woman it's gross. To us men it's an expression of friendship (if you don't understand this you're not a man). It's about hanging out, kicking back. It's about fishing together and not necessarily catching something. It's about guys talking guy things. Men need friendships that allow us to say and do things without feeling stupid. The words we say may be inane or they may be significant but what is more important is that someone has heard and understood. In this other movie "City Slickers" (co-incidentally another Billy Crystal movie), three guy friends explore their lives and their friendship:
Old Friends .. get better with age
Counting back, I will have known Kian Woon and Kim Chan for 30 years. When you've known someone for that long, they will change. We watched each other grow up, get married. Now we're watching our kids grow up. Friendships that have managed to last through the decades are special because when you've known someone over such a long time and still want to hang out, you know you've also found a friend who will watch your back.
The one secret and critical ingredient to a long friendship is time; and not just facebook or WhatsApp time. Electronic medium is good for keeping in touch but long lasting friendships need real face-to-face to grow. You could not have the experience I did recently when I was meeting up with the guys. They wanted to go to this place with good food for breakfast but I said, "No, too far away. Let's just eat at that coffee shop near my place." Little did I know that the eating place I suggested wasn't open for breakfast. I arrived to find 5 glum looking guys sitting in a dark and empty place. During that breakfast (thankfully there was another good eating place nearby) I happened to take a close look at one of my friend's face and wondered since when his face had become so lined. He's been really successful but was he burdened by something he was not telling us? It's not so much the externals but the stories of friends' internal struggles and victories that cement the friendship.
Friendships begin as people who just want to hang out but it is time that will tell if there is something deeper that will hold it together for the many years to come.
God, our best friend
Yet, all the human friends we have cannot replace the void that God has created in us for His friendship - a void that only He can fill.
There is one man's friendship with God in the Bible that stands out for me - the story of Enoch:
"When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away." (Genesis 5:21 - 24; NIV, Biblegateway.com).
Once when I was driving alone, I imagined that God was sitting in the seat next to me. I listened to what God wanted to say to me. Then it came to me in my mind clearly as if someone had spoken, "Chi Hong, you don't have to try so hard to be perfect, you know. It's not as if I don't know what you're really like inside there."
A gentle rebuke from a true friend; and the tiniest fraction of what Enoch must have experienced. God always has our back, He will never change. He will always be a friend, even when He knows what you're like inside there. He loves you for no other reason than that He likes your company. Enoch hung out with God as a friend everyday of his life. He took God's promise of friendship literally and lived that out. What an experience that will be when we learn to be as Enoch was with God.
"He who knows you best loves you most." Josh McDowell.
Prologue:
For those who would rather not watch the When Harry Met Sally YouTube Snippet.
From www.imdb.com
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
We all need friends. Fundamentally we are all created to have a need to be known and then be liked for no other reason than the good company we provide. We need to know that for some inexplicable reason, our persons are interesting enough and our conversations are funny enough that someone in this whole wide world will want to hang out with us. We need friends more than we're willing to admit - we tell ourselves if we have a family, a good job, financial security, we're set for life. Our heart tells us that's just not true.
A lunch treat
So I am glad that recently I could have lunch with my good friends, Kian Woon and Kim Chan.
 |
| Who would have thought? 30 years later and still having lunch together |
Having said that, it still took us scheduling the lunch one month in advance to make it possible. "Can you imagine that?!!" we exclaimed when we finally met up. How impossibly busy our lives had become with work and family commitments.
When we sat down to eat, it took us a while to get into the groove of old friendship. We tried a bit too hard to be nice to each other. For high school buddies who used to snatch food from each others' plates while in school, this was a bit unnatural. I was glad that we got past this initial awkwardness quickly and were soon throwing good natured taunts at one another. (My son Jonah learnt this phrase "good natured taunts" in his English writing class but when he wanted to use it in a composition, he forgot and wrote "well mannered curses" instead, to the great amusement of us all).
 |
| 1984 - When good dress sense did not prevail ... |
I regularly have to remind the perfectionist streak in me that not every encounter with friends needs to be a soul baring event. We talked about many things - family, work, mundane things. We heard that our mutual friends were mentioned in our alma mater as success stories; but not us. We wondered why for a while, shrugged our shoulders and moved on to other things - no big deal. At least for the moment, we cared not about status or success but that we enjoyed each other's company. We laughed a lot - we laughed at each other, laughed with each other. This was genuine, good-friends, no harm intended laughter. I had not felt so relaxed for a long time.
Burp once for guy friends ...
I'm going to say this out loud - guys need guy friends. It's not a gay thing because it has nothing to do with physical attraction. It has everything to do with being heard, understood and accepted. When physical attraction gets in the way, whether between a man-and-man or man-and-woman, the friendship is never quite the same. Harry explains this in the movie "When Harry met Sally":
When "Harry Met Sally"
The dialogue in text: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098635/quotes?qt=qt0221820
(for those who want to just read it straight can go to the end of the blog)
As the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" tried to explain (I think so because I've never actually read it) when a man burps, to a woman it's gross. To us men it's an expression of friendship (if you don't understand this you're not a man). It's about hanging out, kicking back. It's about fishing together and not necessarily catching something. It's about guys talking guy things. Men need friendships that allow us to say and do things without feeling stupid. The words we say may be inane or they may be significant but what is more important is that someone has heard and understood. In this other movie "City Slickers" (co-incidentally another Billy Crystal movie), three guy friends explore their lives and their friendship:
"City Slickers (1991)"
Old Friends .. get better with age
Counting back, I will have known Kian Woon and Kim Chan for 30 years. When you've known someone for that long, they will change. We watched each other grow up, get married. Now we're watching our kids grow up. Friendships that have managed to last through the decades are special because when you've known someone over such a long time and still want to hang out, you know you've also found a friend who will watch your back.
 |
| Friends to journey with me ... |
The one secret and critical ingredient to a long friendship is time; and not just facebook or WhatsApp time. Electronic medium is good for keeping in touch but long lasting friendships need real face-to-face to grow. You could not have the experience I did recently when I was meeting up with the guys. They wanted to go to this place with good food for breakfast but I said, "No, too far away. Let's just eat at that coffee shop near my place." Little did I know that the eating place I suggested wasn't open for breakfast. I arrived to find 5 glum looking guys sitting in a dark and empty place. During that breakfast (thankfully there was another good eating place nearby) I happened to take a close look at one of my friend's face and wondered since when his face had become so lined. He's been really successful but was he burdened by something he was not telling us? It's not so much the externals but the stories of friends' internal struggles and victories that cement the friendship.
Friendships begin as people who just want to hang out but it is time that will tell if there is something deeper that will hold it together for the many years to come.
God, our best friend
Yet, all the human friends we have cannot replace the void that God has created in us for His friendship - a void that only He can fill.
There is one man's friendship with God in the Bible that stands out for me - the story of Enoch:
"When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away." (Genesis 5:21 - 24; NIV, Biblegateway.com).
Once when I was driving alone, I imagined that God was sitting in the seat next to me. I listened to what God wanted to say to me. Then it came to me in my mind clearly as if someone had spoken, "Chi Hong, you don't have to try so hard to be perfect, you know. It's not as if I don't know what you're really like inside there."
A gentle rebuke from a true friend; and the tiniest fraction of what Enoch must have experienced. God always has our back, He will never change. He will always be a friend, even when He knows what you're like inside there. He loves you for no other reason than that He likes your company. Enoch hung out with God as a friend everyday of his life. He took God's promise of friendship literally and lived that out. What an experience that will be when we learn to be as Enoch was with God.
"He who knows you best loves you most." Josh McDowell.
Prologue:
For those who would rather not watch the When Harry Met Sally YouTube Snippet.
From www.imdb.com
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Sunday 23 September 2012
Birthday Thoughts - Blessings or Rewards?
Birthday once again
 |
| My personal baker - Marie! |
Blessings
I'm still happily married to my wife, Marie, of 14 years. We have
4 healthy, handsome boys. I still have friends from my school days and have gained new friends along the way. I have a pretty respectable job
which I enjoy (most days) and work hard at. I have a roof over my family's head
and we have enough for a comfortable life. I'm currently enrolled in
a Masters program which I enjoy. By anyone’s standards I suppose I've done well in life so far. Generally I do have a positive outlook. Yet, I find lurking in the recesses
of my mind feelings of discontent that are not of God.
Discontentment
These feelings surface in very ordinary, daily scenarios. When I drive
into my workplace car park in my cute little Kia Picanto and come face-to-face
with the Lexuses, Mercedes, BMWs and even the occasional Ferrari, the ill winds
of discontent blow through my mind. I try to be ‘holier-than-thou’ by telling
myself that I chose the right thing – to have kids instead of luxury
cars. At the end of my life, my kids will appreciate me more than any car ever
will. Then the next question arises ‘Why do I not earn enough to afford both –
kids and luxury cars?’ Some of my contemporaries have clearly done well enough to do
so. Why did God not bless me so? Was I doing something wrong?
 |
| Yummy Birthday Cake! |
By God's Grace
This month as I reflect on my life, God wanted me to learn this
statement – “By God’s Grace, what I have and where I am are exactly what God
wants me to have and to be”.
“By God's grace" sounds humble and pious but it is false
humility unless I really believe it. Many times when I said "It's by God's
grace..." what I actually meant was that I was good and made good choices.
Therefore I deserved these good things that I was blessed with. So whenever I felt that others had ‘more’ or ‘better’ things than me, the feelings
of discontent would come again.
Take the example of the cars again - if I had a Porsche and
someone said, "Wah, super car!" I would say "by God's grace - He
blessed me with this car" (meaning I worked hard and deserved this car).
But if someone said "Wah, super car!" to my Kia Picanto (trust me, no
one has ever said that), I would say "Yeah, it was cheap and I grabbed
it" (meaning actually I deserved better).
Blessings or Rewards?
Many people say “I don’t want children because they affect my lifestyle and I cannot afford them.” If we are convinced that children are God’s blessings to us, then what we’re saying would be “I don’t want God’s blessings because they affect my lifestyle and I cannot afford
Many people say “I don’t want children because they affect my lifestyle and I cannot afford them.” If we are convinced that children are God’s blessings to us, then what we’re saying would be “I don’t want God’s blessings because they affect my lifestyle and I cannot afford
 |
| Family Birthday Dinner |
them.” We can’t receive
and enjoy God’s blessings when we think of them as rewards that we deserve
because of our hard work and good behaviour. Even though Marie and I have been blessed four times by God, there are many, many days when the boys make us
wonder “Why God? Why did you have to give us these blessings? Wouldn’t a
round-the-world trip for two have been better a better reward?” Seeing the boys
as blessings is a lesson that Marie and I have to learn over and over again.
Good Choices & Control
Also, the premise that I could make good choices all on my own is utterly
wrong. Left to my own devices and without God’s guidance, I would have made all
the wrong choices in life. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I hadn’t
married Marie. She still chides me for making her wait for such a long time before I asked
her to be my steady girlfriend. Somehow whenever she wanted to give up on me,
we would meet up unexpectedly and give her hope again (OK, as promised, this is
a story that I shall tell soon). Say what you will, there is only one reason for
that – God was maneuvering us together in the background.
The stakes keep getting bigger and bigger as I got older as well. As I climbed higher in the career ladder, gained more social and professional credibility, had more bills and loans to pay for, had more people dependent on me, life got more and more complex; and less and less under my control. I could strain with all my might and work myself to exhaustion, yet I could not promise you what will happen tomorrow. There is only one who can promise this and that is God. It is good to know that the One who controls the universe also has my best interest in His heart.
 |
| Another celebration - Waffle and Ice Cream |
Jesus - He took our pain
So “By God’s Grace, what I have and where I am are exactly what
God wants me to have and to be” is not only a statement that reminds me to be
humble and also gives me peace that He has everything under control.
What is more amazing is that as flawed, fallible people, God’s
Grace is big enough to accommodate even our wrongs and bad choices. We do not
have to earn God’s good graces to receive His blessings. His Grace even takes into
account our failures and provides for that.
The other day when I turned on my mobile phone Bible app, it
displayed the verses for the day: Isaiah 53: 3-5.
He was
despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care.
4 Yet it
was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
5 But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
5 But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
New Living
Translation (through www.biblegateway.com)
Honestly I was in no mood that day to read about Jesus getting
beaten up. Who wants to start the day with such morbid thoughts? I wanted to go
the book of ‘Romans’ to receive God’s Words of Grace for the day but the phone
insisted on displaying Isaiah 53 in spite of my attempts. God wanted me to know
that the very Grace I wanted from Him was possible only because His punishments
for me were meted out to Jesus instead. And no matter how terrible I think my
life is; yes, there is someone else who life was worse than mine. God put upon
Jesus the terrible things that should have happened to me so that He could
bless me with the good things. No matter how wearisome and burdensome I feel, I need to remember that what could have been worse in my life did not
happen to me because it was hung there on the cross with Jesus.
Peace
 |
| This is what makes it worth it! |
The other day in church, I had been tending to Samuel for what
felt like an eternity during service. He had been climbing up and down and had
not stayed still even for a brief moment. I was sweating from carrying him and
running after him. For a break, I carried him out of the sanctuary onto the
third floor, hoping that he would settle down and sleep. As I looked downstairs
to the ground floor, I saw a super cool looking Mercedes drive into the car
park. I had this strange feeling all of a sudden. For once I didn’t feel
envious of the guy with the Mercedes. I felt a sense of thankfulness for the
both of us – he with his car and me with my wriggly kid. If I believed that we
were both blessed with exactly what God wanted us to have then I should be
happy for both of us; and I was! It was a strange feeling that I was not used
to but for once the spirit of envy was stilled; and it felt good (… Samuel fell
asleep soon after that too J).
Post Note:
I felt that I needed
to qualify a few statements in this blog:
1. The blog is talking
about contentment with my day to day living. There is such a thing as holy
discontent with where we are Spiritually. I believe when we don’t get
caught up with discontentment in material matters that we feel spiritual discontentment and yearn for more of God. There is great danger in
spiritual stagnation masquerading as contentment.
2.
The statements about children only apply if you are clear that God
specifically wants to bless you with children. God blesses each one of us
with different things. There is no one size fits all. The danger for those of us
who have children is when we display them as medals of valour and make those who don’t
have children feel guilty.
3. A friend said after listening to me
compare my Picanto to a Porsche once again, “Are you sure you’re a car
person? You don’t really look like one.” Guilty as charged but you understand
why I chose this illustration, yes? It’s a guy thing.
Friday 17 August 2012
Rules, Laws and Commandments
Courageous
My church is very keen for the men to watch this movie called "Courageous". We watched the last 30 minutes of the show last night during our men's fellowship. It was an O.K. show - a lot of "emo" music. I guess that's why they turned off the lights. Later pastor said, "Don't know why my eyes so teary tonight." OK, OK, so mine were a bit wet too - the room was quite dusty, you know.
The show was about these four men who committed themselves to doing the right thing at work and at home. In so doing they were blessed and much blessed by their family and friends.
It begins with the heart ...
Much as I wanted to 'pooh pooh' the show, I was surprised by how relevant it actually was. In the past week at work, someone told me that the letters I sent out stipulating the roles and responsibilities of committees were unnecessary - nobody would feel any obligation to follow the words of those letters.
"Sure", I said, "I know these letters can't bind anybody. It really boils down to what you believe in your heart."
"What!?", was the reply, "What century are you living in? Who ever talks about the heart nowadays?"
Sometimes these type of responses at work make me feel naive and ignorant as if I were no more than a small child. But isn't this what we were taught growing up? Always do the right thing, help one another, don't lie, don't be tempted by money. It's as if as adults some people decided they could give themselves a discount. The rules were true but it didn't apply to them 100% anymore.
Discounts
It seems more and more adults have been giving themselves such discounts lately. In the past few months, the local newspapers have been filled with reports of government officers, doctors, lawyers, CEOs, teachers and even pastors who have gotten in trouble with the law. What's the world coming to when the very people whom we looked up to for what is good and honourable also failed the morality test?
We don't like talking about them ...
Laws, rules, commandments - nowadays it's passe to talk about them .... but we can't ignore the fact that they're still there, especially when a line is crossed.
When Marie and I got married, we chose this passage to be our wedding verse:
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
So I guess it shows what Marie and my views are on discipline. Some people have asked me how we run a household of four boys. I jokingly say, "Like an army camp", but seriously, we do have a number of rules in the household so that it doesn't fall apart.
Umbrella of Protection
When the boys were much younger, one of my rules were "No two people shall play with the same toy at the same time in this house!". This is sort of in line with the comedian Bill Cosby's rule in his book "Fatherhood". He laid it down after his children had repeatedly poked and irritated each other - "No one is to touch no one in this house for the rest of their lives!"
But seriously, the boys' playschool teacher used to teach them that obeying their parents is like having an umbrella of protection over them. We found this analogy a very useful reminder whenever we had to discipline.
Now in their tween and teenage years, we are teaching them to internalise their own sense of right or wrong. We emphasise that the greater freedom and choice of adulthood comes with the need to demonstrate greater self-control, to have better decision making and to be honourable at all times - especially when no one is watching.
We remind them that we will only be around for just that many years to tell them what is right or wrong. Beyond that, society and the law will kick in if they are still unable to distinguish good from bad for themselves as adults. Marie and I read somewhere that the job of the parent to prepare their children to leave the home as independent adults begins the minute the children are born. I guess with these four boys that God has given to us, we feel the great responsibility to make sure they grow up to be God-fearing men, tender husbands, loving fathers and productive members of society.
The fruits of discipline
I have always worried that I have 'over-disciplined' Joshua, my firstborn. One of my concerns is that he would turn out to be shy, awkward and have unrealistic expectations on people just like me. However, it continues to surprise me how popular he is among friends and their parents. He gets lots of invitations to homes and parties (we call him the social butterfly); and we often receive compliments from other parents about how well behaved he is. We have reminded Joshua that this is one of the benefits of having learnt self-discipline. Parents are more inclined to agree to their kids hanging out with well-behaved kids. We are also more confident in letting Joshua go for these activities.
How to raise a teenager
However, the rules of the game of son-raising keeps changing. As parents we're learning that there is a different set when it comes to raising teenagers.
Recently Joshua had so many social and extra-school activities that we barely saw him; and when we did see him, he was too tired to engage us properly. We decided that this was unacceptable and some parental control needed to be exerted. Parents of old would have said, "You think what, this house is your hotel is it??!!" (Marie reminded me to write that I did say that to him in one of my angry moments recently).
Negotiations ...
As I mentioned I have gone back to school recently. I find the lessons useful not just at work but also at home. One of the modules was on negotiations. I was taught that one of the most common mistake of negotiations is fighting first for a position i.e. what is the right thing to do on opposing sides, rather than first talking about and thoroughly understanding each parties' concerns before deciding on a win-win plan of action. Marie and I could have fought for a position with Joshua - "You better be home by 5pm every day", "No going out with friends except during school holidays." But we spoke first about our concerns - "We love you and want to spend more quality time with you. We're concerned we never get to see you and don't know what is happening to you." This helped him to understand where we were coming from.
We did eventually come to an agreement on some positions - "No late night movies - home by 8pm latest" but we also found creative ways to increase contact time with him, e.g., picking him up from school rather than expecting him to come home by himself. Ultimately he still preserved a significant portion of his social life and we also had more time with him through the week.
The show was about these four men who committed themselves to doing the right thing at work and at home. In so doing they were blessed and much blessed by their family and friends.
It begins with the heart ...
Much as I wanted to 'pooh pooh' the show, I was surprised by how relevant it actually was. In the past week at work, someone told me that the letters I sent out stipulating the roles and responsibilities of committees were unnecessary - nobody would feel any obligation to follow the words of those letters.
"Sure", I said, "I know these letters can't bind anybody. It really boils down to what you believe in your heart."
"What!?", was the reply, "What century are you living in? Who ever talks about the heart nowadays?"
 |
| Growing them up right ... from the heart |
Sometimes these type of responses at work make me feel naive and ignorant as if I were no more than a small child. But isn't this what we were taught growing up? Always do the right thing, help one another, don't lie, don't be tempted by money. It's as if as adults some people decided they could give themselves a discount. The rules were true but it didn't apply to them 100% anymore.
Discounts
It seems more and more adults have been giving themselves such discounts lately. In the past few months, the local newspapers have been filled with reports of government officers, doctors, lawyers, CEOs, teachers and even pastors who have gotten in trouble with the law. What's the world coming to when the very people whom we looked up to for what is good and honourable also failed the morality test?
We don't like talking about them ...
Laws, rules, commandments - nowadays it's passe to talk about them .... but we can't ignore the fact that they're still there, especially when a line is crossed.
When Marie and I got married, we chose this passage to be our wedding verse:
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
 |
| Boys only club - God calls us to teach them His Word. |
Umbrella of Protection
When the boys were much younger, one of my rules were "No two people shall play with the same toy at the same time in this house!". This is sort of in line with the comedian Bill Cosby's rule in his book "Fatherhood". He laid it down after his children had repeatedly poked and irritated each other - "No one is to touch no one in this house for the rest of their lives!"
But seriously, the boys' playschool teacher used to teach them that obeying their parents is like having an umbrella of protection over them. We found this analogy a very useful reminder whenever we had to discipline.
Now in their tween and teenage years, we are teaching them to internalise their own sense of right or wrong. We emphasise that the greater freedom and choice of adulthood comes with the need to demonstrate greater self-control, to have better decision making and to be honourable at all times - especially when no one is watching.
 |
| Obeying can be hard sometimes ... |
The fruits of discipline
I have always worried that I have 'over-disciplined' Joshua, my firstborn. One of my concerns is that he would turn out to be shy, awkward and have unrealistic expectations on people just like me. However, it continues to surprise me how popular he is among friends and their parents. He gets lots of invitations to homes and parties (we call him the social butterfly); and we often receive compliments from other parents about how well behaved he is. We have reminded Joshua that this is one of the benefits of having learnt self-discipline. Parents are more inclined to agree to their kids hanging out with well-behaved kids. We are also more confident in letting Joshua go for these activities.
How to raise a teenager
However, the rules of the game of son-raising keeps changing. As parents we're learning that there is a different set when it comes to raising teenagers.
Recently Joshua had so many social and extra-school activities that we barely saw him; and when we did see him, he was too tired to engage us properly. We decided that this was unacceptable and some parental control needed to be exerted. Parents of old would have said, "You think what, this house is your hotel is it??!!" (Marie reminded me to write that I did say that to him in one of my angry moments recently).
Negotiations ...
 |
| A proud moment! |
We did eventually come to an agreement on some positions - "No late night movies - home by 8pm latest" but we also found creative ways to increase contact time with him, e.g., picking him up from school rather than expecting him to come home by himself. Ultimately he still preserved a significant portion of his social life and we also had more time with him through the week.
Back to the heart again
Coming back to my job again, I am thankful that it does
not require me to make any large scale purchase decisions for the organisation and expose me to temptation. Nevertheless, I realised that the organisation gives me a much greater latitude to make decisions compared to more junior staff. I could sit and gloat that I would never be
caught in a similar situation as those reported in the newspapers but I would be on dangerous, slippery ground.
The point is that the fewer external controls there are to check a person, the more internal controls he must have to stick to the narrow path of righteousness. As it says in Matthew 7:13 - "Wide is the gate and broad is the path that leads to destruction."
20 years of working
Contrary to my colleague's belief, the truth is that the heart is exactly where the battle is fought. This year I would have worked for exactly twenty years. It is the daily waking up to another day of choosing and doing the right thing that has kept me enthusiastic and passionate about work all these years. I am certainly not perfect but I do try every day. Over time it seems the good does build up and that is what gives me a sense of satisfaction at work.
Entry level good ...
 |
| Almost as tall as his dad. |
I am also learning in ethics class that compliance to human laws is but the entry level to standards of justice and righteous. We should not be lulled into complacency to think that we're OK just because we haven't broken any human laws. God calls us to a greater level of holiness and righteousness based on His standards in the Bible. When I am faced with such standards, I can no longer gloat but humbly recognise that I am a sinner in need of His Grace.
The Pharisees got it wrong ...
For years when I tried to obey God's rules I
would grit my teeth and flog myself for every slip. I thought this was the
right way but actually it only produced in me a Pharisee, not a loving child of God.
I am learning that love is a two way process and that the way to learn to obey
is not teeth gritting nor self-flagellation but the understanding that God
loves me. His commandments are another doorway into understanding His love for me.
Jesus - the true model of good
Jesus said when He was on earth, “Anyone
who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father
will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me
will not obey my teaching." (John 14:23-24)." When Jesus was on earth He repeatedly criticised the Pharisees for their legality and burdensome laws (many self-invented and not from God). That was not a model of a person who loved and obeyed God. Jesus Himself was the perfect model. He was the only person who ever obeyed God fully and yet He had such love for people that they were always drawn to Him.
 |
| Like father like son ... |
God calls us not to robotic obedience. If only
Adam and Eve had talked to God about not eating from the Tree of
Knowledge of Good and Evil they would have learnt more of God's love for them.
Instead, they accepted at face value the deceitful words of the serpent
that God was denying them good things. In believing the
serpent and rejecting God they damaged their relationship with Him.
'No' can be good for you!
I have a friend who tells these
wonderful stories on Facebook about her daughters. Recently, she told a story about one
of her daughters who caught her eating a bag of chips past its expiry date. Her
daughter asked for some; and of course the answer was 'No'. Not willing to accept the answer, her daughter pressed in to ask, 'Why, Mom?'. I am not sure if her daughter will remember why she
was not allowed to eat expired potato chips but I am sure she will remember the
good time she had talking to her mother.
So this is what God calls us to - to love and obey His Laws; and in so doing, to love Him and to know His love as well. Amen.
Sunday 29 July 2012
Healthy, Wealthy & Wise? (Epilogue)
You read how I blogged ... this is how I actually acted
I decided to post this as an epilogue to my previous blog on God the healer. For all that I had written about my theoretically, what would I really do when I fell sick?
Fever, Chills and Shivers... but it's pain that started the prayers
For once I knew when I fell sick exactly. It was during an online lecture I was attending at midnight on Tuesday. I started coughing and my throat felt strange. I woke up Wednesday morning with my body aching all over. "Must be that too small chair I sat on for the one hour lecture", I thought. Then the fever, chills and shivering came, my teeth was chattering even though the air-con in my room was not turned up high.
The description was quite classical for a viral fever. But what was disturbing were these unexpected and repeated stabs of pain on the left side of the back of my head. I could not explain why I had these. I thought of several possibilities but none really fit.
Through this I must confess, I prayed little, thinking that it's a viral fever. don't be a baby, you know it'll go away in a few days. On Friday I thought 'what if it were dengue?'. So I went for a blood test and surprisingly, the test was completely normal, not even a sign of infection.
I Finally Start Praying
On Saturday, the fever went away on but the pain in my head still persisted. Stab, stab, stab - a few times every hour. What could it be? A viral neuropathy? Swollen lymph nodes? Muscle spasm? The medical roulette spun but nothing really fit... I started to get a bit worried and the pain was extremely irritating. Only then on Saturday evening did I start praying.
At church we've been taught that God can give indication to the congregation through specific words describing the illness and specific individuals.
Honestly, I've had a healthy skepticism of receiving and releasing of these words of healing from God. You see, God and I, we keep things simple between us. When I'm sick I tell God, "I'm miserable, I want to get well; and can you please make it quick?" (My wife has 4 children to take care of, she doesn't have much time to listen to me whine). I don't really know much about this healed by a 'released word'. But even in my pain, I couldn't keep that skeptic in me at bay.
As I prayed, I told God if I am to believe in this, He should give a word to somebody at service on Sunday that would describe exactly the pain I had and exactly where I was sitting at service; and that when the word was released, I was to be healed immediately.
I don't always get an immediate answer from God but sometimes I do; and this was one of those times. I could almost feel God roll His eyes at me (no disrespect intended) that I would try to make something that was so simple become so complicated between us. God said "Come on Chi Hong, you know that these types of messages are not meant for you. You want the pain to be gone, right? There, it's gone."
God Heals - He doesn't just say He wants to, He does!
And it was! I immediately felt a loosening on the back of my head and I knew the pain was gone. I'm ashamed to say that my first reaction was to try to remember when was the last time I took my pain killers. Were they kicking in just at that point in time? But it's been one night, one morning and one afternoon now. I've not had to take any medicine and the pain's gone.
There was no word released for healing today at service but I can tell you I put all my gusto into worshiping God. What happened was something special between God and me. I know God got the last laugh (as He always does) but I can't help smiling too every time I think of this. Thanks God, you really made my day.
Saturday 21 July 2012
Healthy, Wealthy and Wise?
Miracles ...
Last night, Marie decided that she would start training Samuel to sleep on his own without crying in the middle of the night. She had endured weeks of his night and early morning wakings and was physically exhausted. We prayed to God for a good night's rest and Marie prepared to get up in the wee hours. Miraculously, Samuel did not wake and slept all the way till 7am.
That's a miracle to me - because it's inexplicable and because I believe God in His tenderness does give exhausted mothers a good night's sleep. Do you believe in miracles?
I've written and re-written this blog so many times I've already lost count. It just did not seem to come out right. At times it seemed too disjointed or I sounded proud or too childish. In the end, I realised the issue is that I was trying to write with authority when I was (and still am) merely a beginner or student in this topic.
Back to School!
The background to this blog was that recently, by a fortuitous intersection of my own desire to learn more about healthcare systems, my organisation's generous sponsorship; and most importantly, my wife's kind support of my pursuits (when we have an eight-month-old at home), I received an opportunity to spend time in Dartmouth College in the U.S.
I have just spent two weeks in this area (3 hours outside of Boston) attending lectures in beautiful summer weather. My classmates were engaged and enthusiastic. The lecturers delivered top notch lectures. We discussed the challenges of the healthcare systems - the increasingly limited resources and the expanding needs of the population; especially one that is ageing rapidly
Health & Wealth Theology & Healthcare Systems Thinking
During my time in the U.S., a pastor back home was charged in court for the misuse of church funds. As he was a strong proponent of the 'Prosperity Gospel*' or previously known as the 'Health and Wealth' Theology, this raised a great uproar in the media and the internet.
*Wikipedia has a good write-up on this topic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_gospel
This is a concise definition from the write-up "Prosperity theology teaches that Christians are entitled to well-being and, because physical and spiritual realities are seen as one inseparable reality, this is interpreted as physical health and economic prosperity."
Having just spent much time thinking systematically and scientifically about the challenges of the healthcare system, what struck me was that that the 'Health and Wealth' theology offered a very attractive value proposition to the problem of rapidly increasing healthcare costs in many countries. Prayer could cure sickness, relieve pain and create health in populations at almost no cost and prayer requires no expensive equipment nor expansive healthcare buildings. Unfortunately, as far as I know, there has yet to be any documentation of a population or community where health has been achieved to the degree where the needs for healthcare; and therefore spending on healthcare, becomes negligible. Such a population or community would light up like a light house in a sea of high cost healthcare. So it appears that while miraculous healing does occur, it does not happen with enough consistency nor pervasiveness to make a measurable change in the healthcare pattern of communities.
Personally, I do not expect that this will ever happen. The intent of miracles, I believe, is to point people who observe them to God. It is an illustration of who He is and what He can do. As we they say "A picture worth a thousand words". This is of great value when we cannot see Him with our eyes in this present life on earth.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Miracles are not intended as a regular means to meet one's every daily physical needs. Jesus said as much in John 6 when he miraculously created bread to feed five thousand. He did this to illustrate that He was the 'Bread of Life'. Yet the people who filled their stomachs with His bread pursued the created bread rather than Him. He reminded them:“Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me,not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life,which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” John 6: 26 - 27.
Obesity - the New Epidemic!
In my droll moments, I wonder if the 'Health and Wealth' theology people know that obesity has become one of the main causes of ill health. It has reached epidemic proportions these days. It is no longer considered a mere description of one's excessive body weight but is a disease in its own right. I have yet to see anyone in church stand up to say 'Praise God! I was obese and I asked God to take away my weight. He's caused me to lose 4 inches, 20 kilos instantly and my pants have fallen to the ground!'. Are diseases then divided into those that are due to our own poor food choices and sedentary lifestyles which require our own effort to overcome; and those that we are not responsible for and therefore deserving of God to wave away instantly?
For example, the healthcare community now considers outdated the focus on cure; rather the aim is now to prevent illness and disease by helping people live a healthy life. It appears that 'Health and Wealth' proponents are ignoring these other less dramatic aspects of Biblical living for the more dramatic scene of instant cures with laying of hands and praying.
The 'Health and Wealth' theology is but one aspect of the whole Bible. Over the centuries of church history, God had highlighted certain key messages from the Bible. The danger is to focus on the one message to the exclusion of all other messages. Yes, I think the Bible does teach us elements of 'Health and Wealth' theology but this message is not all that it teaches.
There is an Afterlife, folks ...
The other problem I have with this theology is its preoccupation with resolution of problems in this present, physical world. The Bible clearly teaches us that there is a spiritual world and a spiritual afterlife; and that many of God's plans, promises and actions find their fulfillment in this other realm. It is therefore simplistic to insist that God answers and gives resolutions to every need only in this physical realm.
I am glad to learn that some clear-headed proponents of 'Health and Wealth' theology have admitted that not all disease prayed for are healed. To me, there is nothing wrong with this. I have always wondered how Christians will ever get to heaven if we believe that we are all maintained in perfect health perpetually here on earth. Clearly all of us experience our physical bodies age and functions deteriorate. We will ultimately die here on earth. The good news is that this is but a gate way to an infinitely better place.
Even blessings come in many sizes ...
The part of the 'Health and Wealth' theology that I am most nervous about is the part that preaches that God's blessing is evident when we as Christians are healthy, wealthy and happy; that what distinguishes Christians from the World is a group of homogeneously trouble free and well-to-do individuals.
This picture is again not what I can find in the Bible. The Bible describes instead a whole motley crew with a checkered past - some were poor, some were kings, some were prostitutes, others were widows, heroes and cowards. A few had a trouble-free life, many were imprisoned, many aggrieved, while others were angered and of course, many also rejoiced. What distinguished this group was not their uniformity. What distinguished them was the God they clung to and their faith in Him - a faith that the Bible described as "the assurance of things hoped for, the convictions of things not seen."
One of the reasons, I believe, that the media coverage and public response to the pastor was so loud and unforgiving was because he obviously lived an affluent lifestyle that few average citizens could afford. To claim that this is a sure sign of God's blessing does not sit well and does not explain why only certain individuals are 'chosen' to receive such wealth. Is it a case of what George Orwell describes in his book 'Animal Farm' that 'All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"?
Job is in the Bible ...
Great Conversations with God
Last night, Marie decided that she would start training Samuel to sleep on his own without crying in the middle of the night. She had endured weeks of his night and early morning wakings and was physically exhausted. We prayed to God for a good night's rest and Marie prepared to get up in the wee hours. Miraculously, Samuel did not wake and slept all the way till 7am.
 |
| How can some one so cute cry so loudly at night? And yet, is he not a blessing too? |
I've written and re-written this blog so many times I've already lost count. It just did not seem to come out right. At times it seemed too disjointed or I sounded proud or too childish. In the end, I realised the issue is that I was trying to write with authority when I was (and still am) merely a beginner or student in this topic.
Back to School!
The background to this blog was that recently, by a fortuitous intersection of my own desire to learn more about healthcare systems, my organisation's generous sponsorship; and most importantly, my wife's kind support of my pursuits (when we have an eight-month-old at home), I received an opportunity to spend time in Dartmouth College in the U.S.
 |
| Lovely Blue Summer Skies |
Health & Wealth Theology & Healthcare Systems Thinking
During my time in the U.S., a pastor back home was charged in court for the misuse of church funds. As he was a strong proponent of the 'Prosperity Gospel*' or previously known as the 'Health and Wealth' Theology, this raised a great uproar in the media and the internet.
*Wikipedia has a good write-up on this topic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_gospel
This is a concise definition from the write-up "Prosperity theology teaches that Christians are entitled to well-being and, because physical and spiritual realities are seen as one inseparable reality, this is interpreted as physical health and economic prosperity."
 |
| Light up like a lighthouse! |
Personally, I do not expect that this will ever happen. The intent of miracles, I believe, is to point people who observe them to God. It is an illustration of who He is and what He can do. As we they say "A picture worth a thousand words". This is of great value when we cannot see Him with our eyes in this present life on earth.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Miracles are not intended as a regular means to meet one's every daily physical needs. Jesus said as much in John 6 when he miraculously created bread to feed five thousand. He did this to illustrate that He was the 'Bread of Life'. Yet the people who filled their stomachs with His bread pursued the created bread rather than Him. He reminded them:“Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me,not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life,which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” John 6: 26 - 27.
Obesity - the New Epidemic!
In my droll moments, I wonder if the 'Health and Wealth' theology people know that obesity has become one of the main causes of ill health. It has reached epidemic proportions these days. It is no longer considered a mere description of one's excessive body weight but is a disease in its own right. I have yet to see anyone in church stand up to say 'Praise God! I was obese and I asked God to take away my weight. He's caused me to lose 4 inches, 20 kilos instantly and my pants have fallen to the ground!'. Are diseases then divided into those that are due to our own poor food choices and sedentary lifestyles which require our own effort to overcome; and those that we are not responsible for and therefore deserving of God to wave away instantly?
"The latest National Health Survey shows the obesity rate has increased from 6.9 per cent in 2004 to 10.8 per cent this year." http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1091906/1/.htmlPrevention Trumps Cure ... every time
For example, the healthcare community now considers outdated the focus on cure; rather the aim is now to prevent illness and disease by helping people live a healthy life. It appears that 'Health and Wealth' proponents are ignoring these other less dramatic aspects of Biblical living for the more dramatic scene of instant cures with laying of hands and praying.
The 'Health and Wealth' theology is but one aspect of the whole Bible. Over the centuries of church history, God had highlighted certain key messages from the Bible. The danger is to focus on the one message to the exclusion of all other messages. Yes, I think the Bible does teach us elements of 'Health and Wealth' theology but this message is not all that it teaches.
There is an Afterlife, folks ...
 |
| Understandable, the preoccupation with this present life - many beautiful spots here on earth |
I am glad to learn that some clear-headed proponents of 'Health and Wealth' theology have admitted that not all disease prayed for are healed. To me, there is nothing wrong with this. I have always wondered how Christians will ever get to heaven if we believe that we are all maintained in perfect health perpetually here on earth. Clearly all of us experience our physical bodies age and functions deteriorate. We will ultimately die here on earth. The good news is that this is but a gate way to an infinitely better place.
Even blessings come in many sizes ...
The part of the 'Health and Wealth' theology that I am most nervous about is the part that preaches that God's blessing is evident when we as Christians are healthy, wealthy and happy; that what distinguishes Christians from the World is a group of homogeneously trouble free and well-to-do individuals.
 |
| Motley crew? |
One of the reasons, I believe, that the media coverage and public response to the pastor was so loud and unforgiving was because he obviously lived an affluent lifestyle that few average citizens could afford. To claim that this is a sure sign of God's blessing does not sit well and does not explain why only certain individuals are 'chosen' to receive such wealth. Is it a case of what George Orwell describes in his book 'Animal Farm' that 'All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"?
Job is in the Bible ...
Look at Job, probably the best case study of a suffering Christian in the Bible. Our natural instinct would be for God to rush instantly to his aid in his moment of acute suffering. Yet, almost inexplicably, God engaged in a long, protracted debate with him with words that cut him like a knife.
The reason is this - God's first and foremost concern was for Job to gain a deeper, richer understanding of Himself. In the end when Job finally did gain a deeper insight of God, his response was this:
The reason is this - God's first and foremost concern was for Job to gain a deeper, richer understanding of Himself. In the end when Job finally did gain a deeper insight of God, his response was this:
“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42: 4-6
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42: 4-6
Job's attitude and posture was one of humble submission and repentance before God; and God reinstated Job's family and fortunes, without him asking for it. The Job story makes us uncomfortable because we would rather believe that God just wants to generically bless us all with health, wealth and happiness. We don't want to know what Job's story is telling us - that we all need to know God more and this often takes place in situations outside of our comfort and ease. It is in these 'discomfort' zones that we experience more acutely God's love for us. I am not a masochist - I certainly will not ask for suffering but when it does come, they are opportunities for my faith in God to be strengthened.
Great Conversations with God
I still believe the simple Sunday School teaching that when we ask God for things - He has 3 responses - "Yes, No and Wait". Where this teaching does not go far enough is to remind us to press in further to ask God "Why?" to His responses. I think that would start many wonderful conversations with Him and gain us a greater depth of knowing and being known by God.
In Colossians, it is made clear that knowing God is the treasure and riches that God has promised; and that is what we should pursue:
"To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27
"...attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2: 2b-3
and if we focused too much on the our material and physical wealth here on earth, we may have gone off tangent -
"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." Colossians 3:1-2
God blesses us in many ways - we limit Him when we define how we want to be blessed.
In Conclusion,
So I end my long discourse but not my journey as a student of this topic. I asked 'From my own response to this topic, what did I learn about myself?' I learnt that the danger for me was to become like the elder brother in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). The story tells of a Father who lavished His love on his sons, even the younger one who ran away from home and wasted his money. But the elder brother would not celebrate the return of his repentant brother but merely stood aside in anger.
While I argued against a simplistic understanding of God's blessing and healing, the danger for me is to limit God to being distant and unloving, dispassionately watching us suffer and struggle. That too is a wrong image of God.
'Who is this God who can love perfectly and who is so eager to love us?' That is what I should strive to discover. Ultimately I think this pursuit of God (and not what we can get from Him) is what the 'Health and Wealth' Theology should be teaching us all.
In Conclusion,
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| Ice Cream on a hot summer day - God's creations & blessings! |
While I argued against a simplistic understanding of God's blessing and healing, the danger for me is to limit God to being distant and unloving, dispassionately watching us suffer and struggle. That too is a wrong image of God.
'Who is this God who can love perfectly and who is so eager to love us?' That is what I should strive to discover. Ultimately I think this pursuit of God (and not what we can get from Him) is what the 'Health and Wealth' Theology should be teaching us all.
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