Our Mortality - the end of it all, or is it?

Track Record and Voting

As I wrote on this topic of mortality, we have just gone through a nation wide election of our country's political leadership. During the campaigning period, the words "track record" was raised many times by the incumbent. Yet if you think about it, the best human track record only promises the possibility of continued good performance. Will those who are elected continue to do well in the future? Only time will tell. 

Perhaps the thoughts about my mortality and what I will leave behind started with the passing of the key founding father of our nation. In his lifetime, what he had built for the nation permeated and still permeates many aspects of the physical, mental, social, cultural; and maybe even the spiritual spheres of this little nation of ours.  It was hard not to feel emotional during the mourning period.

“I am often accused of interfering in the private lives of citizens. Yes, if I did not, had I not done that, we wouldn’t be here today. And I say without the slightest remorse, that we wouldn’t be here, we would not have made economic progress, if we had not intervened on very personal matters—who your neighbor is, how you live, the noise you make, how you spit, or what language you use. We decide what is right. Never mind what the people think.” – Lee Kuan Yew
Credit: Lonely Travelog (http://lonelytravelog.com/2015/03/23/in-memoriam-of-lee-kuan-yew/)

As "track record" got drummed into my consciousness repeatedly, it struck me that one person's track record was key to this topic of death and dying - that of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

"Boom ... and it all changed"

The other incident that got me thinking about mortality was the newspaper reports about a bomb that went off in the Bangkok City Centre a few months back. Locals and several tourists lost their lives. I wondered what it felt like for those caught in the bomb blast? Several years ago my car was rammed in the back when I was waiting to drive off at a road junction. One moment I was waiting for the road in front of me to clear - I'm not even sure I registered the bump - objects were suddenly flying in the air. Drops of liquid from my drink scattered in the air in slow motion like in the movies. I could see what was happening around me but my mind was unable to comprehend what had happened. Did it also feel like that for the unfortunate victims? Would their bodies have had time to register the blast? Would they have been thinking about dinner, shopping or the chores waiting for them at home one moment; and the next just nothingness? Or would they have been ushered into the presence of a greater reality? 

Jesus and Death

In the Bible, the book of John Chapter 11 gave an account of Jesus' response to the news of the death of a dear friend Lazarus. What stood out for me about the story was how His actions and words seemed bewildering to the people around Him at that time. His disciples couldn't make out by the way He spoke whether He meant that Lazarus was sleeping or dead. He waited 2 more days after receiving the news of his friend's critical illness before starting out to see him. Did He not remember that they walked, they didn't drive in those days? It was as if Jesus wanted to be very sure that Lazarus was truly dead and buried by the time He arrived (as was the case in the account). When he arrived, he was met by Lazarus' two sisters. To one he offered the promise that those who believed in Him would not die. To the other sister he seemed to commiserate with her grief and broke out in tears. Finally, He asked for the tomb to be opened to the utter disbelief of the crowd - the dead body would have been in such a state of decomposition that it would have emitted an overpowering odour. What took the cake was when Lazarus walked out of the tomb alive and well at Jesus' command. You could just see the jaws of the crowd drop to the ground.

I have come to learn that when a person's words are baffling it is usually because his world view is very different from mine. I hear the words he speaks but it means different things to each of us. Jesus did not see death as the end. The only possible explanation for Jesus' behaviour was that He spoke and acted as one who knew that life continued after physical death on earth. The behaviour and responses of the people to Jesus (as ours still do these days) betrayed an inner belief that death is final. There is nothing after that. As a bumper sticker said "Life is xxxx (expletive) ... and then we die".

Jesus comes to us, in a way like the aspiring politicians in the general election, asking us to believe in Him. But He was not just asking for us to believe in an academic analysis of death with Him as a powerless bystander. We are asked to believe in Him as the only one who had the power to free us from the clutches of death - "Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26). 

As for track records, Jesus had an impeccable one. Eventually Jesus was falsely accused and hung on the cross to die by the religious authorities at that time. The documentation of his death was quite convincing. Three days later as He had promised, He arose from the dead. In John 20, in an almost comical repeat of the earlier scene, one of the sisters came to the tomb to mourn Jesus' passing. She arrived only to find the stone covering the tomb moved and the tomb empty. Jesus appeared to her and asked "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" (John 20:15). Puzzling questions, perhaps inappropriate even to those who saw death as the last act ... but not for Jesus who knew what the real deal was.

Daily Routines and what you leave behind

I do hope that my blog is not prone to morbid introspection or academic musing only. How do these reflections change the way I live?

Half way through the four score years ... my birthday this year

I have a nightly routine to shut down the house. I make sure the lights are turned off, the fridge doors are closed, the awning at the back is down and the main gate is closed. Some nights when I miss this routine, things go awry - the freezer door was left open one night; another time the awning was up and the downpour in the middle of the night messed up the laundry hung out to dry. In truth, I have added making ice to my nightly routine. Not the most significant thing perhaps but I was thinking that some day when I'm no longer around, the kids will say "Hey! There always used to be ice in the ice tray. Why is it always empty nowadays?"; and then perhaps they would think fondly of me for making ice for them.

IDMC Conference 2015

I didn't have a word for this desire until I attended the Intentional Discipleship Making Church (IDMC) Conference 2015 organised by the Covenant Evangelical Free Church. The word for this is "Legacy" - what do we want to leave behind when we have gone off to life in another plane? Without going into too much philosophizing or preaching, for myself, I hope that knowing that it's not about squeezing everything you can out of this the four score or so years of our lives in our physical body will make me less grasping and more giving in this life. I hope I can be less threatened by people's actions and more rested in a God who takes care of me for here and for eternity.

My good wife Marie reminded me as my third son (Jonah) comes up for his PSLE Exam this year that I had promised in my earlier blogs to share what I would learn this third round. Here is a brief preview - I decided that Jonah's memories of this exam should not only be about me scolding him incessantly about his work. I have started reading the Bible with him most nights. We have been reading about Jacob in the book of Genesis and I was surprised how God can use a shepherd's life thousands of years ago to speak to the issues a twelve year old boy faces with his brothers, his friends, his chores, his fears of the exam. Through it all, God kept saying to Him "I love you, I love you, I will take care of you." (and I guess to me too). It was a triumph for me when after one such reading Jonah himself picked out God's message for him in the passage - "God is saying He loves me and takes care of me!".

Leaving a bit of Eternity Behind

At the moment, I am reading a Sci-Fi book called "Speaker For the Dead" by Orson Scott Card (I'm not morbid, it's just co-incidental). In it he writes of himself "A writer's life is boring indeed. I write stories about people who take risks, who reach out and change the world, But when it comes to my life, it mostly consists of hanging around at home, writing when I have to, playing computer games or watching TV whenever I can get away with it. My real life is being with my wife, with my children; going to church and teaching my Sunday school class; keeping in touch with my family and friends; and, the primary duty of every father, turning off lights throughout the house and muttering about how I'm the only one who seems to care about turning them off because I'm the one who has to change the lousy light bulbs." 

The lantern I made that
won second prize in school.
Would he remember?

His life sounds just like mine! I think those of us who get to live such lives should be thankful for such quiet blessings. One of my best friends felt called by God to run for political office in this past election. He knew that it would have an impact on his personal and family life. I admire and respect him all the more for his choices. He didn't have to do it but he did because he felt it was the right thing to do.

The premise of Mr. Card's book is that at the end of one's life, someone should tell our entire life story - not just the good parts; and not even the average between the good and bad parts but even the bad parts as well. So when my time comes, perhaps my children will remember that "he was grumpy often, not very playful, liked to nap a lot, doled out pocket money regularly, made ice frequently ... and read the Bible with me." 

I believe legacy can be found in our daily mundane living ... and if that is not enough then it helps to know that life here is not the end but the beginning of an adventure that will stretch into all eternity with the One who loved us enough to die for us on the cross. 

"Who Are You Looking For?"

Power of Love Church Facebook Page

This was a sermon that I preached when a good friend invited me to do so at the 

Power of Love Church in Hua Hin, Thailand. Do visit if you're ever in that area!

               

               

Bible Reading:

Thank you for your invitation to visit your church and to offer me this opportunity to preach.

Our reading today from the Bible is from John Chapter 20. I am reading from the New International Version (NIV).

Verse 1 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 

Verse 11 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb...

Verse 14 to 16 … she turned around and saw Jesus standing there,but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

¹⁶ Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

Introduction

The scene is familiar to us – Jesus had died on the cross and three days later he had arisen from the dead. But for the first century Christians who still did not understand what had happened, the empty tomb had caused fear, anxiety and confusion. Not only was their beloved leader and teacher dead, his body had apparently been stolen.

Jesus frequently asks us sharp questions that reveal the truth in our hearts:

“Mary”, He asked, “why are you crying? ^“Who is it you are looking for?”. 
“Why are you crying?” meaning why are you sad, worried or anxious?. 
“Who is it you are looking for?” meaning “Who do you look for when you are sad, worried or anxious?”

This is the same question Jesus asks us in our own times of sadness, worry and anxiety:

Why are you sad, worried or anxious? Is it Jesus whom you turn to or someone or something else for help?

We can learn from the Temptation of Christ

When we are in a stressful situation, Satan tempts us to turn away from God to other substitutes. We can learn lessons from how he tempted Jesus in the desert.

In the first temptation, Satan asked Jesus to turn stone into bread because Jesus was hungry. This temptation is for us to turn to physical comfort in times of need.

Food is a common example. There is nothing wrong with food and I look forward to having much good Thai food while I am here! But there are people who eat not because they are hungry but to soothe their worries. Food has become their idol, their ‘god’ in times of stress and anxiety.

In the second temptation, Satan offers to Jesus power over many cities of the world. This is not hard to understand In times of trouble, we look to people with human power or authority to protect us. This can happen at the work place, at home or even in the church.

In the third temptation, Satan tempts Jesus to believe that by his actions, He could control God. In Singapore where I come from, many believe that if we study hard, if we obey all the rules, especially government rules, we will be blessed by God because we are good. Even Christian students and their parent believe that if they study hard, God must bless them with good marks, then good jobs and a good, trouble free life.

I remember when I was 16 years old and taking an important exam in school, I prayed “God, I have worked hard so you must give me all ‘A’s in my exam subjects”. God answered me with another question – “Why do you need ‘A’s when you have Me?”. He would not let me control Him.

He also didn't always give me good marks. In fact from then on, there would always be one or two subjects in my exams that did not get good marks. God wanted me to learn that it is not the good marks but Him that I needed in life.

The Power of Love

Let us return to Jesus’ questions to Mary:

“Why are your crying?”

“Who are you looking for?”

Based on what reasons is Jesus able to promise us that He is the answer to all the problems in our lives?

Based on the fact that He loved us, He suffered for us and died for our sins.

Based on the fact that His death has removed all barriers between us and God.

He speaks gently but the fact is He has returned victorious over death and sin; and God has placed everything under Him (see 1 Corinthians 15: 21 - 28).

Church, when I asked God what message He has for you -

He asked me to remind you of the name of your church: The Power of Love Church

Because - There is Power in Love!

It is not people with guns or money or earthly authority that have power.

It is God’s love that has the true Power to change this world.

As it is written in Romans 8: 37- 39:

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God^(CF) that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

But Jesus not only showed us the amazing, infinite power of the love of God

He also showed us an example of how to live a powerful life of love through humility and service to others. At the last supper with His disciples, Jesus washed their feet. This was a task that we would expect a servant to do. Jesus willingly washed his disciples feet and said “ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John13:15)

As it is also written in 1 John 3: 16 – 18

¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? ¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 

Church, God says “You have chosen well the name of your church”. There is power in His Love to change this world. And so I encourage you, go and live your life for Christ in this world. 

His Love through your lives will be the powerful force that will change this world.

Amen

Photo with family & church leaders after sermon

Birthday Thoughts - Blessings or Rewards?

Birthday once again

September is birthday month for me – the time of the year to look back at my journey so far and to look forward to what's ahead.

My  personal baker - Marie!

Blessings

I'm still happily married to my wife, Marie, of 14 years. We have 4 healthy, handsome boys. I still have friends from my school days and have gained new friends along the way. I have a pretty respectable job which I enjoy (most days) and work hard at. I have a roof over my family's head and we have enough for a comfortable life. I'm currently enrolled in a Masters program which I enjoy. By anyone’s standards I suppose I've done well in life so far. Generally I do have a positive outlook. Yet, I find lurking in the recesses of my mind feelings of discontent that are not of God.

Discontentment

These feelings surface in very ordinary, daily scenarios. When I drive into my workplace car park in my cute little Kia Picanto and come face-to-face with the Lexuses, Mercedes, BMWs and even the occasional Ferrari, the ill winds of discontent blow through my mind. I try to be ‘holier-than-thou’ by telling myself that I chose the right thing – to have kids instead of luxury cars. At the end of my life, my kids will appreciate me more than any car ever will. Then the next question arises ‘Why do I not earn enough to afford both – kids and luxury cars?’ Some of my contemporaries have clearly done well enough to do so. Why did God not bless me so? Was I doing something wrong?

Yummy Birthday Cake!

By God's Grace

This month as I reflect on my life, God wanted me to learn this statement – “By God’s Grace, what I have and where I am are exactly what God wants me to have and to be”.

“By God's grace" sounds humble and pious but it is false humility unless I really believe it. Many times when I said "It's by God's grace..." what I actually meant was that I was good and made good choices. Therefore I deserved these good things that I was blessed with. So whenever I felt that others had ‘more’ or ‘better’ things than me, the feelings of discontent would come again.

Take the example of the cars again - if I had a Porsche and someone said, "Wah, super car!" I would say "by God's grace - He blessed me with this car" (meaning I worked hard and deserved this car). But if someone said "Wah, super car!" to my Kia Picanto (trust me, no one has ever said that), I would say "Yeah, it was cheap and I grabbed it" (meaning actually I deserved better).

Blessings or Rewards?
Many people say “I don’t want children because they affect my lifestyle and I cannot afford them.” If we are convinced that children are God’s blessings to us, then what we’re saying would be “I don’t want God’s blessings because they affect my lifestyle and I cannot afford 

Family Birthday Dinner

them.” We can’t receive and enjoy God’s blessings when we think of them as rewards that we deserve because of our hard work and good behaviour. Even though Marie and I have been blessed four times by God, there are many, many days when the boys make us wonder “Why God? Why did you have to give us these blessings? Wouldn’t a round-the-world trip for two have been better a better reward?” Seeing the boys as blessings is a lesson that Marie and I have to learn over and over again.

Good Choices & Control

Also, the premise that I could make good choices all on my own is utterly wrong. Left to my own devices and without God’s guidance, I would have made all the wrong choices in life. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I hadn’t married Marie. She still chides me for making her wait for such a long time before I asked her to be my steady girlfriend. Somehow whenever she wanted to give up on me, we would meet up unexpectedly and give her hope again (OK, as promised, this is a story that I shall tell soon). Say what you will, there is only one reason for that – God was maneuvering us together in the background.

The stakes keep getting bigger and bigger as I got older as well. As I climbed higher in the career ladder, gained more social and professional credibility, had more bills and loans to pay for, had more people dependent on me, life got more and more complex; and less and less under my control. I could strain with all my might and work myself to exhaustion, yet I could not promise you what will happen tomorrow. There is only one who can promise this and that is God. It is good to know that the One who controls the universe also has my best interest in His heart.

Another celebration - Waffle and Ice Cream

Jesus - He took our pain

So “By God’s Grace, what I have and where I am are exactly what God wants me to have and to be” is not only a statement that reminds me to be humble and also gives me peace that He has everything under control.

What is more amazing is that as flawed, fallible people, God’s Grace is big enough to accommodate even our wrongs and bad choices. We do not have to earn God’s good graces to receive His blessings. His Grace even takes into account our failures and provides for that.

The other day when I turned on my mobile phone Bible app, it displayed the verses for the day: Isaiah 53: 3-5.

He was despised and rejected—
    a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
    He was despised, and we did not care.

⁴ Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
    it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
    a punishment for his own sins!
⁵ But he was pierced for our rebellion,
    crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
    He was whipped so we could be healed.

                        New Living Translation (through www.biblegateway.com)

Honestly I was in no mood that day to read about Jesus getting beaten up. Who wants to start the day with such morbid thoughts? I wanted to go the book of ‘Romans’ to receive God’s Words of Grace for the day but the phone insisted on displaying Isaiah 53 in spite of my attempts. God wanted me to know that the very Grace I wanted from Him was possible only because His punishments for me were meted out to Jesus instead. And no matter how terrible I think my life is; yes, there is someone else who life was worse than mine. God put upon Jesus the terrible things that should have happened to me so that He could bless me with the good things. No matter how wearisome and burdensome I feel, I need to remember that what could have been worse in my life did not happen to me because it was hung there on the cross with Jesus.

Peace

This is what makes it worth it!

The other day in church, I had been tending to Samuel for what felt like an eternity during service. He had been climbing up and down and had not stayed still even for a brief moment. I was sweating from carrying him and running after him. For a break, I carried him out of the sanctuary onto the third floor, hoping that he would settle down and sleep. As I looked downstairs to the ground floor, I saw a super cool looking Mercedes drive into the car park. I had this strange feeling all of a sudden. For once I didn’t feel envious of the guy with the Mercedes. I felt a sense of thankfulness for the both of us – he with his car and me with my wriggly kid. If I believed that we were both blessed with exactly what God wanted us to have then I should be happy for both of us; and I was! It was a strange feeling that I was not used to but for once the spirit of envy was stilled; and it felt good (… Samuel fell asleep soon after that too J).

Post Note:

I felt that I needed to qualify a few statements in this blog:

1. The blog is talking about contentment with my day to day living. There is such a thing as holy discontent with where we are Spiritually. I believe when we don’t get caught up with discontentment in material matters that we feel spiritual discontentment and yearn for more of God. There is great danger in spiritual stagnation masquerading as contentment.

2. The statements about children only apply if you are clear that God specifically wants to bless you with children. God blesses each one of us with different things. There is no one size fits all. The danger for those of us who have children is when we display them as medals of valour and make those who don’t have children feel guilty.

3. A friend said after listening to me compare my Picanto to a Porsche once again, “Are you sure you’re a car person? You don’t really look like one.” Guilty as charged but you understand why I chose this illustration, yes? It’s a guy thing.

Interviews - getting to the heart of the matter

Being Interviewed
I mentioned in my previous blog of my intention to pursue a Masters course. This came with an interview early this month by the school's Admissions Committee. I was a bit nervous because it's been a while since I've been interviewed but the interviewers were incredibly kind and patient, especially with the interview conducted via Skype. At times I could see the interviewers having a quizzical look - I spoke too fast and said too much. However, I'm glad to announce that they've accepted me into the course. They also gave such nice comments about my performance.

Would the boys follow my profession?

Being an Interviewer
So in a way, I've come round a full circle. A few months ago I received an e-mail inviting me to interview candidates seeking admission to a local university faculty. I said 'yes' and spent 2 days doing that this month. It chewed big chunks out of my schedule and gave my secretary nightmares but I'm really glad I did it.

Stories!
What I enjoyed about the sessions were the stories that I got to hear. These eager young men and women came to convince us of their achievements, commitment and sincerity to pursue this profession. They spoke of their families, friends, life in school and the military (National Service). Many were leaders in social and volunteer groups. Some were accomplished athletes, artists or musicians. We were told of their role models and teachers who nurtured them. They described the joys of life and even the sorrows of witnessing death.

For us interviewers, what the candidate said was as important as what he / she was really saying and how he / she said it. Certainly some degree of preparation was helpful but over-preparation stuck out like a sore thumb. Many candidates rattled off a litany of standard 'I'm here to change the world, heal the sick, help the poor' statements. We probed hard to find the genuine candidates.

Doors may close but is this the only one?
Simple maths would show that when there are more applicants than places, then not every applicant can be accepted. I felt burdened for the candidates that spoke as if their entire lives had been a series of decisions and actions leading to this one interview. As I explained to some of them, a world of options was opened to them with their achievements. To me, the interviews were really more like career guidance to assess if they had a long term fit with the profession; rather than tests to be passed or failed. Not being accepted to the faculty was not a closed door but an open door to the many other options available to them.

I'm good, aren't I?
I don't think many of the candidates bought that. The truth is that everyone of us when we're being assessed, want to be found acceptable, even excellent. As a perfectionist, I run a daily, ongoing interview in my mind - 'Why did you do that?', 'Why did you say that?', 'What do you think they would think of you?', 'Is this your best attempt or could you have done better?', 'What did you write in that email? Why didn't he respond to it?'. More often than not, I find myself wanting in these internal interviews. Some days the interviews are so loud and so persistent in my mind I can only turn to God and ask to know that in His grace I am acceptable, even loved in my imperfections.

Would they want to?

I wish I could keep all these thoughts within myself but inadvertently they leak out. At work, my bosses are really winsome people but I just cannot fully relax in their presence because of this monologue in my head. I think my bosses find me wanting so I find myself wanting (actually from my annual reports, they're quite happy with my work; which makes my internal monologue even sadder, doesn't it?). I am tense, always ready to jump to my own defense.

One of my favourite questions at the interview sessions (and I'll tell this to you because no candidate will actively prepare for it) is "Tell me about a time when you met with failure and how you handled it". Invariably, this question would be met with a stunned look and a long pause. These high performing young men and women came brimming with tales of success and did not expect to be asked about their failures. I guess some degree of awareness that life will not always be smooth sailing is useful. I remember my first year university exam results - not having any 'A's in the results slips and not being anywhere near the top of the class was a big shocker to me. The rest of my university days were to prove that I was a competent student but no where near outstanding amongst a cohort of brilliant contemporaries.This was a fact of life I had to learn to accept.

Jesus does interviews completely different
If there's anything I'm learning from these interviews, it's that I need to learn more of grace then of competence. God drew me to a passage in the Bible that actually recorded an interview. This one was conducted for a man who had failed miserably. In John 21, Jesus appeared to Peter and some other disciples. Peter had sworn that he would remain faithful to Jesus at all costs. At the crucial moment of Jesus' trial and crucifixion, the rooster had crowed as Jesus had predicted, signaling the three times Peter had denied Jesus publicly. He broke down in tears of regret and grief when he realised his own failure.

There's much that I can learn from Jesus. He knows that broken people need not be broken any further but instead need to be loved.. Yet, not a soft, cottony wooly illusion of love but a tough love - the real stuff. The type of real, deep love that we all want to be loved with.

Jesus appeared by a beach, beside a crackling fire, cooking fish and bread (Jesus cooked! How amazing!). As mothers know, there is nothing like a well-cooked meal to create a sense of warmth and security. Jesus must have known that would draw Peter in. Repair of a life always begins with the willingness for one to open his heart.

That does not exclude tough Questions!
But Jesus did not shy away from asking Peter the tough questions. Three times he asked: “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He probed to find out the real answer, each of these questions pierced deep into Peter's heart and caused him pain.


 John 17:3 "The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”. Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” 


He did this more for Peter's sake because He already knew what was in Peter's heart. It was Peter who needed to have an honest, clear understanding of the secrets in his own heart - the weakness, the lack of reliability hiding in there.


Trust him with your life

I can be anything God wants me to be!

The best thing one can do to repair a broken  man is to entrust him with what is most important to you. To each of Peter's answers, Jesus entrusted him with his sheep (the church). Not once was there recrimination for the betrayal by Peter at those crucial moments. Instead Jesus gave Peter the chance to try again. 


“Feed my lambs.”, “Take care of my sheep.”,  Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

As I write this, God is also asking me "Chi Hong, do you love me more than these?". I think it will take me time to find the real answer and God will not stop till I know what that answer is. He already knows me and I am thankful that whatever answer I eventually give, God will still trust me with His work. Ultimately what we all want is to know we are loved and trusted even when we are terribly flawed - in God we will find that to be true.

Post Script:
This week, I conducted orientation for a bunch of new recruits who have finished their university learning and taking their first steps into the profession. I am glad to report that most of them are still bright eyed and enthusiastic.When someone asked "Do you think that you can still change the world?", I am glad that at least one young man said "Yes!" in a very loud voice. It seems the interviewers five years ago had chosen right. There is hope yet :)

This is a video by a couple of guys called the Skit Guys. I love them - they're funny, they like to laugh and in the process, they also teach God's truth. You can find more of their skits at http://skitguys.com/


Here, they re-enact Jesus' conversation with Peter, well, it's terribly Americanized but still a picture is worth a thousand words I suppose.

                     

What I learnt from scolding my son Jonah

Jonah 
When I think of how to describe my son Jonah to you, I think of the movie "Sound of Music", the part where the nuns throw up their hands in exasperation at the undefinable, uncontrollable, yet lovable Maria.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do you find a word that means Maria?

A fibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A Clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay?

And listen to all you say?

How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

How we chose his name

Friends have told us that we were asking for it, naming him after Jonah in the Bible - well known for resisting God's call to do what is right, running off in the opposite direction and  repenting only when he ended up in a whale's belly. 

But actually we chose the name after watching the show  "Sleepless in Seattle".... yes, I guess that boy in the show had a mind of his own too. But when Jonah was born my first impression was that he was God's special gift to me. He had a large round head and large round eyes exactly like those cute cartoon characters that I adore.

'Take Care of Yourself'

Born the third son into our family when his two older brothers were also young and needing much care, he learnt quickly to wait while we tended to his brothers. He was really good at this, sitting with googly eyes quietly in a corner on his high chair staring into space while stuffing snacks into his mouth. 

In this video of grandma's birthday, you see him sitting on grandma's lap looking 'blur' while his two older brothers steal the limelight and dictate what they wanted.

'You have to help me'

As the years went by and the brothers grew up, the balance tilted - more and more we expected his older brothers to take care of themselves and help with Jonah. This 'you have to help me' mentality became so imprinted in his mind that when Jonah watched the movie "Happy Feet" (about this awkward penguin coming of age) his one comment was when the penguin was left to fend for himself "Why his Pa Pa and Mummy never take care of him?"

'An inexplicable amalgam'

So Jonah is this curious mix of personalities. His favourite activity is lying on the floor with his books or LEGO toys, talking to himself, living in another world in his mind. He leaves spots of messiness all over the house, expecting things to be picked up after him. He hates to go out but if he has to, he brings books to bury his nose in. He eats what he likes and would rather not eat if the food is not to his liking.

Jonah & Samuel

'Take Care of Yourself' Again

With the arrival of Samuel last year, unfortunately, Jonah has again been relegated back to the 'take care of yourself' status. It was hard for him while waiting for Samuel's arrival. He frequently took out his baby photos to ask us 'I was a really cute baby, right?'. He was working through the emotions of giving up his 'baby of the family' status. To his credit, he's been nothing but loving to Samuel since his arrival.

School starts and it all falls apart

As the school year started, we noticed that Jonah could not follow his home routines, his chores were undone, homework was sloppy. He slept late, forgot piano practise, everyday he appeared scruffy in his school uniform. Of course this riled me no end, especially now that most of our energy was spent on taking care of Samuel. Why couldn't he make life easier for me?

Scolding don't help

One night last week Jonah received a whole string of scolding from me (I even scolded him for having a nose bleed - but that's another story). He went to bed sad and it made me stop to think. Honestly I felt like that grumpy chap in the movie 'Despicable Me' before he learnt to be a good Dad. 

In my quietness, I heard God say to me "He wants you to journey with him". Journey - what did that mean? Then it struck me - I was letting Jonah struggle on his own, obviously beyond his capability. I had made the classic parent mistake of thinking all the boys are the same. Instead of coaching and helping him, I was a harsh judge of his inadequacies on the sidelines. Not only did that tear him down, it created negative emotions for me. 

A Traveling Companion
So now, Jonah and I have a nightly routine that intersects at key points. We pack his school bag together for the next day and end the night with 10 minutes of story reading; then prayer before sleep. The day we started it, he was so pleased, he went to bed beaming. I told Marie "I spent the same amount of time with him but got a much better and happier outcome."

As I learnt how to be a better earthly father, God reminded me that He is the perfect, heavenly Dad. Often I struggle to the point of exhaustion and frustration with the challenges in life as if I'm going it alone. Jesus offers us this partnership ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 29 - 30, from Biblegateway.com

Again it is mentioned in Hebrews 4: 10 - 11a of God's invitation to rest - "¹⁰ for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works,^[e] just as God did from his. ¹¹ Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest," from Biblegateway.com

Jonah still has to complete his daily routines but he now finds them less of a chore with my help. So too God does not take us out of our lives here on earth. What He promises is His constant presence by our side. We no longer need to struggle at it alone but can rest in the peace that when we cannot handle something, God takes care of it. We are blessed children indeed.

A proud moment for Jonah - when he lost his first tooth.

Addendum 22 January 2012

For those who've not watched the movie "Sleepless in Seattle" - here's a few snippets from YouTube:

You hear how loud Tom Hanks can shout "Jonah!". You get the other reason why we chose that name?

Snippets from the movie to the song "A Wink and A Smile" by Harry Connick Jr.

The final scene where all the "If only..." and "What if..." find there happy conclusion.