Book 3. Bought in Kinokuniya for $25.79. Not sure when I bought it, published 2012, so probably quite some time back. Interesting book by David Finch who married his high school sweetheart and discovered in the 5th year of a marriage heading towards disaster that he had Asperger Syndrome. I quote "Of course, sensory issues and clumsy social exchanges don't ruin marriages. What brought my marriage to its knees were my God-given egocentricity and inability to cope with situations and circumstances beyond my control...I'm certain that pathological close-mindedness isn't one of the top qualities a person would look for in a spouse." (P.12). The book is his journal of how he worked to change himself to save his marriage, with his wife. As she reminded him, in her great wisdom, "...we can work together to fix our marriage, Dave. This isn't about fixing you."
I found this book interesting. I always thought that I was a good guy and a good catch in a marriage. Alas, I also learnt through my marriage that I was more ego-centric and selfish than I wanted to admit. Perhaps having an Asperger diagnosis was convenient for David, at least there was a clinical diagnosis to explain his behaviour, rather than having to face the humiliating revelation that I had no excuse for being selfish except that I was selfish.
The Bible tells us that Asperger or not, what ails all of us is sin. The Bible also tells us that we change, not from fear but from love. I am transformed because God loves me, just as I am, ego-centricity and all. I am learning to love my beloved wife @mariehwang because I am learning that God loves me. I no longer have to strive to demand from my marriage enough love for myself before I can love Marie.
Like David Finch, we realised our marriage was challenging within the first 5 years; oh, how we struggled ... and now with our 28th Anniversary coming up, we're still learning (& sometimes struggling). Perhaps that's why this book appealed to me then; David and I have common experiences, and I know I will learn something from his struggles. It's a Keeper for me.
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