School Results (PSLE) - What I'm learning about school grades

Thanksgiving!
So 巧 or co-incidental that this year's 24th November was my eldest son, Joshua's Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) results' release, my youngest son, Samuel's one month celebration (both rites of passage in our local community) and the U.S. Thanksgiving. It was indeed a good day to give thanks.

My handsome sons:
Joshua (12 years) & Samuel (1 month)

Pursuing Grades - of this World or not?
Living here where academic excellence is do or die, where parents spend inordinate amounts of money on extra classes for their kids and say that they feel like they themselves are going through their kids' exams, I've always asked myself "How should Christian parents live differently?" 


If the Bible calls us to be in this world but not of this world, to avoid conformity to the patterns of the world - should we rush them from school to tuition to enrichment classes all day long and celebrate only when the kids bring back top marks? The local phrase we use is "怕输" - "scared to lose"; or in proper English "Fear of failure". Are we as Christians just as scared to lose as our non-Christian counter-parts? If we are then is there something missing in our faith?


Our words betray us?
And what should Christian parents say when asked about their childrens' results? The standard answer seems to be "Oh, none of it is my credit, it's all to the glory of God." Personally I find these answers unsatisfactory. It cannot apply to all situations and is mostly used by parents when their children get good grades. What of children who do not get 'good' grades, did they not bring glory to God? Or if grades were blessings from God, were they not blessed because they've not been 'good' somehow?


Good Grades or Good God?
In my musings I have come to realise that there are two dangers with pursuit of good grades:
1. That it is but the start of chasing after things in life that leads us to be defined by things, such as a great career, wealth, fame, good looks etc., rather than to be defined by the identity we have in Jesus and His death for us on the cross.


2. That we look at grades as an assurance of success and security in life when they are actually only options and choices for life's next steps. Every grade gives an option, there are no dead ends, especially when we are under God's care.


As I have written in my recent blogs - those who believe that worldly success brings joy and fulfils our hearts' deepest yearnings often learn regretfully that this is not true. My wife asked me why I was rather sanguine about the whole PSLE thing and my reply was that after working this number of years, I have realised that the amount of emphasis we place on academic excellence is somewhat misplaced. Those who only know how to study for grades are often lacking in social skills that are even more important in the workplace.


What I learnt from Joseph
During this period God brought me back to the life of Joseph (for those who are not familiar with this man in the Bible - look him up in Genesis 37 - 41. You can go to Bible Gateway http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis%2037%20-%2041&version=NIV)


Joseph was the favourite son of Jacob, the patriarch of the nation of Israel. Unfortunately, Joseph's brothers were so gripped with jealousy and envy that they plotted and succeeded in selling him to Egypt as a slave. This led to years of incarceration and slavery for Joseph till God's gifting on him were finally recognised by the pharaoh of Egypt through a series of events. Through these difficult years Joseph had but one option, to wait patiently for God to act. Eventually, God elevated him to a position second only to the Pharaoh and saved the people of Egypt from a devastating drought.


Honestly, which parent would not want for their child to be in Joseph's final position in Egypt? Probably all. But which parent would want their child to go through the journey to get there? Probably none. Yet the learning point is this, Joseph's life (and the rest of ours for that matter) was not something that could be engineered by man, only by God. So if Joseph had lived in modern times, none of those extra classes, top marks, top schools would have led to that position of 'success' that parents so desire for their children.


So what grades did Joshua really get?
You may think after all this that the reason why I'm writing this is because Joshua's results were not so good. The truth is that Joshua got good solid results, enough to get him to the school of his choice* and to have options to choose courses he desires. He is pleased with himself as we are with him. He may not have appeared on any 'top' lists but his results are a good reflection of the solid, consistent work that he has done through the year. Marie and I were already proud of him, his discipline and determination in his studies before the results were out.
* I am not writing down Joshua's actual results because he has already posted them on his own facebook page and I am of a generation that is more discreet when it comes to public announcement of grades.


I'm still learning too...
The real reason why I'm writing this is because I am no less affected by the pressures of academic success. I too get unhappy when the boys come home with 'not good' results. I have grown up with the belief that top grades are everything; and I believe within me I have much pride over this. But I hope I'm learning ...


I tried to be different when I was at school waiting for Joshua's PSLE results. To a mom whose son got top marks and gave me the usual 'It's not me, it's all God' spiel, I said, "You know, which ever grades our sons get, it's the exact grade that he needs - and that's what God has given to them." I got this blank, non-comprehending look, perhaps because I truly took the glory and gave it to God, not to her or her son. I'm still not sure this is the best way but I think it's a step in the right direction.


Edited by lovely wife, Marie ...