Interviews - getting to the heart of the matter

Being Interviewed
I mentioned in my previous blog of my intention to pursue a Masters course. This came with an interview early this month by the school's Admissions Committee. I was a bit nervous because it's been a while since I've been interviewed but the interviewers were incredibly kind and patient, especially with the interview conducted via Skype. At times I could see the interviewers having a quizzical look - I spoke too fast and said too much. However, I'm glad to announce that they've accepted me into the course. They also gave such nice comments about my performance.

Would the boys follow my profession?

Being an Interviewer
So in a way, I've come round a full circle. A few months ago I received an e-mail inviting me to interview candidates seeking admission to a local university faculty. I said 'yes' and spent 2 days doing that this month. It chewed big chunks out of my schedule and gave my secretary nightmares but I'm really glad I did it.

Stories!
What I enjoyed about the sessions were the stories that I got to hear. These eager young men and women came to convince us of their achievements, commitment and sincerity to pursue this profession. They spoke of their families, friends, life in school and the military (National Service). Many were leaders in social and volunteer groups. Some were accomplished athletes, artists or musicians. We were told of their role models and teachers who nurtured them. They described the joys of life and even the sorrows of witnessing death.

For us interviewers, what the candidate said was as important as what he / she was really saying and how he / she said it. Certainly some degree of preparation was helpful but over-preparation stuck out like a sore thumb. Many candidates rattled off a litany of standard 'I'm here to change the world, heal the sick, help the poor' statements. We probed hard to find the genuine candidates.

Doors may close but is this the only one?
Simple maths would show that when there are more applicants than places, then not every applicant can be accepted. I felt burdened for the candidates that spoke as if their entire lives had been a series of decisions and actions leading to this one interview. As I explained to some of them, a world of options was opened to them with their achievements. To me, the interviews were really more like career guidance to assess if they had a long term fit with the profession; rather than tests to be passed or failed. Not being accepted to the faculty was not a closed door but an open door to the many other options available to them.

I'm good, aren't I?
I don't think many of the candidates bought that. The truth is that everyone of us when we're being assessed, want to be found acceptable, even excellent. As a perfectionist, I run a daily, ongoing interview in my mind - 'Why did you do that?', 'Why did you say that?', 'What do you think they would think of you?', 'Is this your best attempt or could you have done better?', 'What did you write in that email? Why didn't he respond to it?'. More often than not, I find myself wanting in these internal interviews. Some days the interviews are so loud and so persistent in my mind I can only turn to God and ask to know that in His grace I am acceptable, even loved in my imperfections.

Would they want to?

I wish I could keep all these thoughts within myself but inadvertently they leak out. At work, my bosses are really winsome people but I just cannot fully relax in their presence because of this monologue in my head. I think my bosses find me wanting so I find myself wanting (actually from my annual reports, they're quite happy with my work; which makes my internal monologue even sadder, doesn't it?). I am tense, always ready to jump to my own defense.

One of my favourite questions at the interview sessions (and I'll tell this to you because no candidate will actively prepare for it) is "Tell me about a time when you met with failure and how you handled it". Invariably, this question would be met with a stunned look and a long pause. These high performing young men and women came brimming with tales of success and did not expect to be asked about their failures. I guess some degree of awareness that life will not always be smooth sailing is useful. I remember my first year university exam results - not having any 'A's in the results slips and not being anywhere near the top of the class was a big shocker to me. The rest of my university days were to prove that I was a competent student but no where near outstanding amongst a cohort of brilliant contemporaries.This was a fact of life I had to learn to accept.

Jesus does interviews completely different
If there's anything I'm learning from these interviews, it's that I need to learn more of grace then of competence. God drew me to a passage in the Bible that actually recorded an interview. This one was conducted for a man who had failed miserably. In John 21, Jesus appeared to Peter and some other disciples. Peter had sworn that he would remain faithful to Jesus at all costs. At the crucial moment of Jesus' trial and crucifixion, the rooster had crowed as Jesus had predicted, signaling the three times Peter had denied Jesus publicly. He broke down in tears of regret and grief when he realised his own failure.

There's much that I can learn from Jesus. He knows that broken people need not be broken any further but instead need to be loved.. Yet, not a soft, cottony wooly illusion of love but a tough love - the real stuff. The type of real, deep love that we all want to be loved with.

Jesus appeared by a beach, beside a crackling fire, cooking fish and bread (Jesus cooked! How amazing!). As mothers know, there is nothing like a well-cooked meal to create a sense of warmth and security. Jesus must have known that would draw Peter in. Repair of a life always begins with the willingness for one to open his heart.

That does not exclude tough Questions!
But Jesus did not shy away from asking Peter the tough questions. Three times he asked: “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He probed to find out the real answer, each of these questions pierced deep into Peter's heart and caused him pain.


 John 17:3 "The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”. Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” 


He did this more for Peter's sake because He already knew what was in Peter's heart. It was Peter who needed to have an honest, clear understanding of the secrets in his own heart - the weakness, the lack of reliability hiding in there.


Trust him with your life

I can be anything God wants me to be!

The best thing one can do to repair a broken  man is to entrust him with what is most important to you. To each of Peter's answers, Jesus entrusted him with his sheep (the church). Not once was there recrimination for the betrayal by Peter at those crucial moments. Instead Jesus gave Peter the chance to try again. 


“Feed my lambs.”, “Take care of my sheep.”,  Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

As I write this, God is also asking me "Chi Hong, do you love me more than these?". I think it will take me time to find the real answer and God will not stop till I know what that answer is. He already knows me and I am thankful that whatever answer I eventually give, God will still trust me with His work. Ultimately what we all want is to know we are loved and trusted even when we are terribly flawed - in God we will find that to be true.

Post Script:
This week, I conducted orientation for a bunch of new recruits who have finished their university learning and taking their first steps into the profession. I am glad to report that most of them are still bright eyed and enthusiastic.When someone asked "Do you think that you can still change the world?", I am glad that at least one young man said "Yes!" in a very loud voice. It seems the interviewers five years ago had chosen right. There is hope yet :)

This is a video by a couple of guys called the Skit Guys. I love them - they're funny, they like to laugh and in the process, they also teach God's truth. You can find more of their skits at http://skitguys.com/


Here, they re-enact Jesus' conversation with Peter, well, it's terribly Americanized but still a picture is worth a thousand words I suppose.

                     

Career Choices

Will I be missing out on this?

Taking up a Masters Course 
- Wise or Foolish?
Recently I decided that I should pursue a part-time Masters course (what? 4 kids, one under 6 months, a full time job - I must be a masochist of sorts). I asked my company if they were willing to sponsor my studies. "Sure," they said, "anything you want." The course I chose was somewhat niche so the company wanted to know if I wanted to consider a good MBA instead. "It'll come in useful some day if you become a CEO or COO."

Wow, talk about an ego booster! As we say locally I "can feel my head grow big already". As I prayed over my options, God reminded me that my career has not been a journey of pursuing higher positions and job titles. So far, as I pursued my passions at work with God's guidance, He has been providing me with career opportunities. If God wanted me to be a CEO or COO, then it would happen whether I had a MBA or not. There was no need to go pursuing one just for the sake of career opportunities.

So I informed my company that I was sticking to my choice. "I trust God to take care of my career." I said. While that sounded really good, God knew that I spoke this with a certain amount of pride. It was more important that I really believed this in my heart regardless of what happened.

God's Test
I believe God gave me a little test. Overnight and inexplicably I felt irrelevant to the company. Several key and important projects went ahead without the need for my input. At meetings when I gave my opinion, it came out wrong, sounding like criticism of my colleagues rather than constructive suggestions. I wasn't making significant progress with the projects assigned to me. It was as if I was once a major part of the river flow that was the life and work of the company. Now I was a pebble left on the river bank while the river flowed on without me.

I rationalised to myself that as much of my work involved writing policies, people came to me when the organisation was new to find out how to do this or that. Now that the organisation was more established, this need had diminished significantly. While this sounded logical, it felt hollow.

In this season of Lent, the 40 days before Easter when Christians ponder the significance of Jesus dying for us on the cross, God was asking me "do I really believe that my significance was fully based on my relationship with God?" My pastor said in a recent sermon "Walk before work" that we should always consider cultivating a relationship with God rather than merely 'doing' work for Him in His name. In Matthew 20: 1-16, Jesus tells a parable of workers hired to work in a vineyard. Each was promised a coin for the work regardless of when they started work. The workers who started work at the beginning of the day were unhappy that they got paid the same as those who started work only late in the day. From a HR perspective, indeed the remuneration in this parable made no sense. But when work is an opportunity to work with and know God more intimately, then pay will not weigh in so significantly.

Paul and Jesus - Career Role Models
In the Apostle Paul I have a good role model - "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith." Philippians 3: 8-9. Paul had all the right credentials in Jewish circles in his time but gave them up and became unpopular in those circles to pursue what he considered an unbeatable opportunity.

Even Jesus made career choices. Choose to be a carpenter; live an ordinary life. Choose to be the Messiah; be tortured and crucified on a cross. If you think that Jesus jumped at the chance to be the Messiah, you would be wrong. The attraction of any accolade pales when one knows that extreme physical pain is involved. Jesus agonised over what God called him to do as we see in His prayer in the hours before He was arrested:

Luke 22: 42-44: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

And if you thought that Jesus was a passive and powerless victim of the situation, think again. At the point of His arrest, He chose restraint and submission when He could have razed the place with Heavenly power. He said at the point of his arrest:
"Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?" Matthew 26:53

I would say a choice that ends in sure death is not a smart career move. Jesus chose to be Messiah not because He would benefit from it but only because His entire life was based on being in a loving, obedient relationship with God.

Yet the irony is that we are never short changed by God even when we make choices the way Jesus did. In His case, ultimate obedience and sacrifice was rewarded with resurrection from death and an eternal, heavenly accolade:

"And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,"
                                                             Philippians 2: 8-11

Fight, Flight or Peace? Learning God's Ways

I learnt one thing in this episode - when I perceive I'm in a disadvantaged position, my natural tendency is to argue even more for my point, to fight even more to establish my position. I would also have become a more obnoxious character in the work place - like a child in a sandbox crying, screaming and kicking my legs because nobody wanted to play according to my 'rules' (policies) anymore.


What God wanted for me was exactly the opposite. If my opinions were not needed then I should be silent. If policies were no longer the top concern of the organisation, then find other ways to add value to the work. The funny thing was when I kept quiet, people started coming around to ask me what I thought; and that included my CEO who popped into my room one day saying he was sorry that he had to cut short a meeting as he had really wanted to know what I thought at that meeting (that made my day :)

Trusting God sometimes seem like a bad career choice. It goes counter to what career guidance books teach. These books create fear of missed opportunities and unrecognised talents and drive us to actions to ensure our own superior positions at work.


God does not promise that. He promises a different certainty - a certainty that rests in Himself, the One who created and is in control of everything in this universe. Faith in Him is being willing to hold His hand and walk instep with Him into a future that is unknown to me but fully known to Him.

40 days by Matt Maher

This interesting YouTube video depicts Jesus' 40 Days of fasting in the desert and how He finds a greater sense of Himself and His destiny when every physical comfort is taken from Him.

Words worth pondering over again:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

   and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord
                                                             Philippians 2: 5-11