Healthy, Wealthy and Wise?

Miracles ...
Last night, Marie decided that she would start training Samuel to sleep on his own without crying in the middle of the night. She had endured weeks of his night and early morning wakings and was physically exhausted. We prayed to God for a good night's rest and Marie prepared to get up in the wee hours. Miraculously, Samuel did not wake and slept all the way till 7am. 

How can some one so cute cry so loudly at night?
And yet, is he not a blessing too?

That's a miracle to me - because it's inexplicable and because I believe God in His tenderness does give exhausted mothers a good night's sleep. Do you believe in miracles?


I've written and re-written this blog so many times I've already lost count. It just did not seem to come out right. At times it seemed too disjointed or I sounded proud or too childish. In the end, I realised the issue is that I was trying to write with authority when I was (and still am) merely a beginner or student in this topic.


Back to School!
The background to this blog was that recently, by a fortuitous intersection of my own desire to learn more about healthcare systems, my organisation's generous sponsorship; and most importantly, my wife's kind support of my pursuits (when we have an eight-month-old at home), I received an opportunity to spend time in Dartmouth College in the U.S.

Lovely Blue Summer Skies

I have just spent two weeks in this area (3 hours outside of Boston) attending lectures in beautiful summer weather. My classmates were engaged and enthusiastic. The lecturers delivered top notch lectures.  We discussed the challenges of the healthcare systems - the increasingly limited resources and the expanding needs of the population; especially one that is ageing rapidly


Health & Wealth Theology & Healthcare Systems Thinking
During my time in the U.S., a pastor back home was charged in court for the misuse of church funds. As he was a strong proponent of the 'Prosperity Gospel*' or previously known as the 'Health and Wealth' Theology, this raised a great uproar in the media and the internet. 


*Wikipedia has a good write-up on this topic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_gospel
This is a concise definition from the write-up "Prosperity theology teaches that Christians are entitled to well-being and, because physical and spiritual realities are seen as one inseparable reality, this is interpreted as physical health and economic prosperity."

Light up like a lighthouse!

Having just spent much time thinking systematically and scientifically about the challenges of the healthcare system, what struck me was that that the 'Health and Wealth' theology offered a very attractive value proposition to the problem of rapidly increasing healthcare costs in many countries. Prayer could cure sickness, relieve pain and create health in populations at almost no cost and prayer requires no expensive equipment nor expansive healthcare buildings. Unfortunately, as far as I know, there has yet to be any documentation of a population or community where health has been achieved to the degree where the needs for healthcare; and therefore spending on healthcare, becomes negligible. Such a population or community would light up like a light house in a sea of high cost healthcare. So it appears that while miraculous healing does occur, it does not happen with enough consistency nor pervasiveness to make a measurable change in the healthcare pattern of communities. 


Personally, I do not expect that this will ever happen. The intent of miracles, I believe, is to point people who observe them to God. It is an illustration of who He is and what He can do. As we they say "A picture worth a thousand words". This is of great value when we cannot see Him with our eyes in this present life on earth. 


A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Miracles are not intended as a regular means to meet one's every daily physical needs. Jesus said as much in John 6 when he miraculously created bread to feed five thousand. He did this to illustrate that He was the 'Bread of Life'. Yet the people who filled their stomachs with His bread pursued the created bread rather than Him. He reminded them:“Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me,not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life,which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” John 6: 26 - 27.

Obesity - the New Epidemic!
In my droll moments, I wonder if the 'Health and Wealth' theology people know that obesity has become one of the main causes of ill health. It has reached epidemic proportions these days. It is no longer considered a mere description of one's excessive body weight but is a disease in its own right. I have yet to see anyone in church stand up to say 'Praise God! I was obese and I asked God to take away my weight. He's caused me to lose 4 inches, 20 kilos instantly and my pants have fallen to the ground!'. Are diseases then divided into those that are due to our own poor food choices and sedentary lifestyles which require our own effort to overcome; and those that we are not responsible for and therefore deserving of God to wave away instantly?

"The latest National Health Survey shows the obesity rate has increased from 6.9 per cent in 2004 to 10.8 per cent this year." http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1091906/1/.html

Prevention Trumps Cure ... every time
For example, the healthcare community now considers outdated the focus on cure; rather the aim is now to prevent illness and disease by helping people live a healthy life. It appears that  'Health and Wealth' proponents are ignoring these other less dramatic aspects of Biblical living for the more dramatic scene of instant cures with laying of hands and praying.


The 'Health and Wealth' theology is but one aspect of the whole Bible. Over the centuries of church history, God had highlighted certain key messages from the Bible. The danger is to focus on the one message to the exclusion of all other messages. Yes, I think the Bible does teach us elements of 'Health and Wealth' theology but this message is not all that it teaches. 

There is an Afterlife, folks ...

Understandable, the preoccupation with this present life
- many beautiful spots here on earth

The other problem I have with this theology is its preoccupation with resolution of problems in this present, physical world. The Bible clearly teaches us that there is a spiritual world and a spiritual afterlife; and that many of God's plans, promises and actions find their fulfillment in this other realm. It is therefore simplistic to insist that God answers and gives resolutions to every need only in this physical realm. 


I am glad to learn that some clear-headed proponents of 'Health and Wealth' theology have admitted that not all disease prayed for are healed. To me, there is nothing wrong with this. I have always wondered how Christians will ever get to heaven if we believe that we are all maintained in perfect health perpetually here on earth. Clearly all of us experience our physical bodies age and functions deteriorate. We will ultimately die here on earth. The good news is that this is but a gate way to an infinitely better place. 


Even blessings come in many sizes ...
The part of the 'Health and Wealth' theology that I am most nervous about is the part that preaches that God's blessing is evident when we as Christians are healthy, wealthy and happy; that what distinguishes Christians from the World is a group of homogeneously trouble free and well-to-do individuals.

Motley crew?

This picture is again not what I can find in the Bible. The Bible describes instead a whole motley crew with a checkered past - some were poor, some were kings, some were prostitutes, others were widows, heroes and cowards. A few had a trouble-free life, many were imprisoned, many aggrieved, while others were angered and of course, many also rejoiced.  What distinguished this group was not their uniformity. What distinguished them was the God they clung to and their faith in Him - a faith that the Bible described as "the assurance of things hoped for, the convictions of things not seen." 

One of the reasons, I believe, that the media coverage and public response to the pastor was so loud and unforgiving was because he obviously lived an affluent lifestyle that few average citizens could afford. To claim that this is a sure sign of God's blessing does not sit well and does not explain why only certain individuals are 'chosen' to receive such wealth. Is it a case of what George Orwell describes in his book 'Animal Farm' that 'All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"?

Job is in the Bible ...

Look at Job, probably the best case study of a suffering Christian in the Bible. Our natural instinct would be for God to rush instantly to his aid in his moment of acute suffering. Yet, almost inexplicably, God engaged in a long, protracted debate with him with words that cut him like a knife.

The reason is this - God's first and foremost concern was for Job to gain a deeper, richer understanding of Himself. In the end when Job finally did gain a deeper insight of God, his response was this:

“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.’
⁵ My ears had heard of you
    but now my eyes have seen you.
⁶ Therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42: 4-6

Job's attitude and posture was one of humble submission and repentance before God; and God reinstated Job's family and fortunes, without him asking for it. The Job story makes us uncomfortable because we would rather believe that God just wants to generically bless us all with health, wealth and happiness. We don't want to know what Job's story is telling us - that we all need to know God more and this often takes place in situations outside of our comfort and ease. It is in these 'discomfort' zones that we experience more acutely God's love for us. I am not a masochist - I certainly will not ask for suffering but when it does come, they are opportunities for my faith in God to be strengthened. 

Great Conversations with God

I still believe the simple Sunday School teaching that when we ask God for things - He has 3 responses - "Yes, No and Wait". Where this teaching does not go far enough is to remind us to press in further to ask God "Why?" to His responses. I think that would start many wonderful conversations with Him and gain us a greater depth of knowing and being known by God.

In Colossians, it is made clear that knowing God is the treasure and riches that God has promised; and that is what we should pursue:

"To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27

"...attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2: 2b-3

and if we focused too much on the our material and physical wealth here on earth, we may have gone off tangent -

"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." Colossians 3:1-2

God blesses us in many ways - we limit Him when we define how we want to be blessed.

In Conclusion,

Ice Cream on a hot summer day -
God's creations & blessings!

So I end my long discourse but not my journey as a student of this topic. I asked 'From my own response to this topic, what did I learn about myself?' I learnt that the danger for me was to become like the elder brother in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32).  The story tells of a Father who lavished His love on his sons, even the younger one who ran away from home and wasted his money. But the elder brother would not celebrate the return of his repentant brother but merely stood aside in anger. 


While I argued against a simplistic understanding of God's blessing and healing, the danger for me is to limit God to being distant and unloving, dispassionately watching us suffer and struggle. That too is a wrong image of God. 


'Who is this God who can love perfectly and who is so eager to love us?' That is what I should strive to discover. Ultimately I think this pursuit of God (and not what we can get from Him) is what the 'Health and Wealth' Theology should be teaching us all. 

Fathers and other men in our lives

 The Good Men in our lives

In this month of June as father's day comes around again, I am reminded that as men, we need other men, whether as a father, son, friend, coach, pastor, colleague and so forth to help us become better men - as is written in Proverbs 27:17 - " You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. " (The Message).

I watched Men in Black 3 recently.  What makes this movie and the other 2 in the MIB franchise watchable, is the unlikely friendship between Agents J and K. Over the years, the straight laced, poker faced absolutely by-the-book Agent K and the suave, rubber faced, "throw the rule book out the window" Agent J have learnt that there is good in their partner's ways although it is so different from their own. What is sad ( I think this is also a reflection of real life) is that good male friendships on screen are invariably portrayed as two men grudgingly brought together; and even when they become good friends, are unable to express their appreciation for each other. 

The Good Father

I grew up in the generation that watched the Cosby show. Who wouldn't want Bill Cosby to be his father? He's funny, he's understanding and he always has the right thing to say for every situation. I remember as a child asking my Dad why he couldn't be more like Cosby. I wonder whether I hurt him with such a question. His answer was "but that's just a TV show." And he's right. Now that I'm a father to 4 boys, I can see the wisdom of his words. Most of us will never be such a perfect father (and thank God He does not expect us to be). I am flawed and learning that I don't always get it right with my sons. God is that perfect Father model but while I struggle with my imperfections here on earth, I will never be that one perfect role model for them. The solution is to allow my sons and myself to be exposed to positive influences from men in our community. 

The Cosby Show - Sit There Until You Eat Them

What We're Missing 

I believe that as men we're missing out when we won't admit that we need more than one or two beer buddies. The image of the ideal man portrayed by the media - that "Lone Ranger" who is immune to bullets, never cries, is never afraid and has a wisecrack for every situation is not real. We need real flesh-and-blood men whom we see everyday, each with their own strengths and gifts, with jobs and families, struggling with issues, sometimes victorious, often falling flat on their faces, to help us grow and be held accountable as the man God created us to be.

Samuel, Gets the Good Stuff  

The men in Samuel's life

Samuel by virtue of being born into a family of 3 older brothers will have the benefit of many male influences right from the start. From day one, he has already had to contend with his brothers' close proximity as they kiss him, hug him, carry him. Many have commented that his body is very firm and strong. That is because he has had to actively hold himself upright as his eager but not necessarily careful brothers carry him at all sorts of odd angles. From the time Samuel was aware of their presence, he has stared in wonder at them poking, wrestling and pushing each other. He is mesmerised  by them playing Beyblade, Pokemon, Xbox and iPads. They have taught him how to slap their faces with his hand and laughed when he scratched them instead (much to our chagrin) . He chuckled as they danced silly jiggles, sang silly songs and made silly faces. It takes no stretch of imagination to see that the minute he can, he's going into join in the melee. Clearly his brothers are and will continue to be his role models.

When is my turn?

Samuel was baptized on 20 May at 6 months of age. All our other 3 boys were similarly baptised as infants. This is our public commitment to raise our children in the ways of God.

What was different this time round - instead of baptism by sprinkling of water on the baby's head, Pastor told me that he wanted to dunk Samuel in the water. The official term is 'Baptism by Immersion'.  "Sure", I said "why not?". Perhaps this was somewhat unthinking and not a conversation that two men should have taken alone without consulting Samuel's mother or other women in church. This was after all, the first time this church had baptised an infant so young.

Have you thought this through Pa Pa?

As the baptism date got closer and I told people about the baptism, I got a few incredulous looks, arched eyebrows and "What??!!" questions about Samuel going under water. "Should be OK, lah." I thought. This response was perhaps not as scientific as my profession should have trained me to think. Thank God that everything turned out fine. He came out from under the water screaming but was more angry than frightened at the experience.

My father 

The Happy Family at the Baptism

I was glad that  my father could also be present to witness his baptism. I don't understand why I didn't appreciate him more as a kid. I wanted him to be like an American TV dad but he is Asian through and through. He may not express his love by words or hugs but he does love his family. I have learnt that his love language is giving gifts and being of service to others. Many people have come up to tell me that he is generous to a fault. Well, my boys certainly appreciate him - they love going to Grandpa's house as invariably one or all of them will return with a new toy or extra pocket money. I hope my Dad's generosity will rub off on them.

Our family friend

Kieran's latest visit (note the bald heads in the centre)

One of Marie's good friends, Kieran (who has since become very popular with the whole family), was also present for Samuel's baptism. Kieran is incredibly intelligent, very artistic (this is not your garden variety but serious studying for an art history doctorate type), into cooking, books, interior decoration and fashion. He could have been the perfect SNAG living an urbane life. Yet, he has answered God's call to be a missionary in a foreign land and has had to learn to live without these things that he love. Life is not easy and sometimes it gets to him. Yet he never seems bitter and always has positive, ministering words when he visits. I (and I hope the boys) can certainly learn self-denial, contentment and obedience to God from him.

My Buddies

My good friend Chee Meng, and the boys' godfather also made it inspite of his busy schedule. The boys love to boast to their friends about their godfather because he has a macho, alpha male job (not like their Dad's paper-pushing one). As I've mentioned in my blog previously Chee Meng and I go way back. At a time when I was a shy, awkward teenager God blessed me with a group of good friends. Two of them, Chee Meng and Kian Woon (whom I've also mentioned in another one of my earlier blogs) have had the most influence on me. They have both helped in different ways to come out of my shell. 

Chee Meng, challenges me to be who I am not. Where I seek to avoid an argument, he presses in to question and debate. Where I am trying not to be noticed, he speaks up to make a point. Chee Meng teaches me courage to stand up for what is right.

Kian Woon, on the other hand, has similar sensibilities to me. When we meet up, he and I begin a conversation and can talk non-stop for the next two hours. We talk about everything under the sun - jobs, family, friends, TV, movies, holidays, fashion, God. He has helped me to be more confident about who I am. 

What is Good takes time and effort

I am saying this because it is not easy. With the demands of family, work and studies, it takes effort just to find time and to fix a meet up with the guys (I'm always pleased when someone else takes the initiative to fix up something). I sometimes allow myself to go for months without meeting up and I end up with a deep sense of loneliness. I don't think this belittles in any way the good company of my wife or children. 

It is also not easy because I am not one of those guys who socialise with ease; who can sit down with guys they don't know well and start a conversation. The problem is my perfectionist streak that drives me to believe that I have to be witty in every conversation and that every one of these should end up in a deep soul baring session. As a child, my parents kept saying "Don't be shy, don't be shy, why are you so shy?" Honestly that did not work. It just made me feel more awkward at every social situation. 

So knowing what I know now, in the last year, since joining a new church, I have gone out on a limb to get to make friends with other guys in church.  On my own accord, I asked if there was a men's fellowship group that I could join (sadly the group is not active). This June, our whole family (with Samuel in tow) went for church camp in Malacca. It was an excellent chance for me to know and to get to know the other men in church. The guys were great - they were friendly and welcoming but honestly at times all I wanted was to hide in my own hotel room. Given a choice, I would rather have spent my time in solitary activities but I resisted that urge. I wanted to be more than just  a face and a number in the pew on Sundays and I knew that with my nature it took work. I am glad to announce that after camp, I now know the names of a few more men in church. They are no longer just faces I say "hi and bye" to every Sunday. It is a small step but I am glad I took it.

Church Camp 2012!

Thank you Dad and My Friends

So this year for Father's Day, I am reminded firstly that my father is a good man and how I must strive to be more like him to be a better father to my sons. I am also thankful for the good friends God had blessed me with over the years despite my shy nature. These men are helping me to be a better man, not just for my sons, but also for my wife, for my friends, for my workplace, my church and for the community that I am in. It's a great challenge but I am succeeding a little more each day with the right support.

Epilogue:

So what's it about men? I have made a point in this blog that men need to learn from other men. They cannot learn about being men from women only but they certainly need the support of women in their quest to be better men.

I watched this charming Nike Advertisement recently and it explains why. The man was goofy, dirty, puked his guts out and got all messed up, yet ended up looking endearing. The woman remained pristine through the clip, not even a drop of sweat, as she ran effortlessly to him. 

I would not call the man a loser but a winner. Somehow God has made it OK when men get messed up; dust him off a bit and he's good to go. In addition, to have a beautiful woman runs across the US and leap into his arms  - I would say this was a win-win all round. 

If the roles had been reversed and the woman was messed up instead - that would have been a cringe worthy video. It would have been a tragedy, not a romantic comedy. So it is clear why women wear makeup and men don't (well, OK, in this day and age, most men don't); and good makeup on women is great - I'm all for that (sorry, can't quite say the same for men with makeup).

God made men and women different. The difference can be amusing, exasperating and endearing but we must never make the mistake of thinking one is better than the other. Let's embrace this difference - that's what makes life interesting.

The End

Education - Tool or Master?

It's that time of the year again!
April-May and September-October - for those of who who have school-going children (and for those of you who have gone through the system yourselves), these months spell school exams. These are months of long schoolwork hours, sweat, tears and increased stress and tension all around.

Birthday celebration before school. Best way to start a school day!

As I write this blog on a Sunday, I have just spent the afternoon going through a grueling Science revision session with one of my sons. It started out with lots of scolding and it could have degenerated into a protracted scolding session but thankfully we found constructive ways to learn a lot of information in a very short time. 


Resisting the System
Marie and I have always tried to resist the pressures in the education system that are applied on the children (and the parents too!). When the boys started school, we congratulated ourselves that we didn't put them through private tuition.  We didn't drive them from enrichment class to enrichment class; certainly not on weekends. We wanted Sundays to be the Lord's rest day and not have the boys do any work. We said schooling was about the joy of learning, not about scoring marks.

Well, that was easy when the boys were younger. Once the first boy hit Primary 4, all that went out of the window; and progressively more so with the rest of the boys. The pressure to make sure our boys did well in school increased year on year the nearer they got to the PSLE (Primary School Leaving Examination). The fear that our children would not do well enough in the exams and derail their future prematurely with just one misstep drove us to do what we said we wouldn't. These days, I spend Saturdays waiting in McDonald's for one of the boys to finish Science tuition at a learning centre while I personally tutor another one of them. On Sundays, we rush back from church in time for Chinese Tuition. There was just no other day in the week to squeeze it in. 




Letter to the Forum Page

Recently my brother-in-law, whom I consider to be extremely brilliant and successful in his career, wrote to give feedback on our education system in one of our local newspaper discussion page. I think he managed to capture very succinctly the frustrations parents have with the education system.

First day in school!

I give a short quote from his letter  : "As a product of the system in the '80s and now a father of two children in lower primary, I fear that the system has become one of irrelevant, unrealistic standards.

And I come from the perspective of someone who excelled within the old system, yet always questioned the relevance of the education content to real-world settings. Sadly, the situation has gotten worse.

It is no longer a matter of excelling in class; to simply pass maths today, it is mandatory to have tuition to fill the gaps that teachers sometimes struggle to fill. If so many pupils require tuition, it means our education system has failed in its basic goal of imparting the correct skill sets."
(You can read the full letter here: TODAYonline | Voices | Standards are unrealistic)

What is a Christian Response?

I have often asked myself "What should my response be as a Christian, to the pressures of our local education system?" If Christians are called to be the aroma of Christ (2 Corinthians 2:14) in this world that does not know God, then surely our knowing Him would help us have a different response. I wish I could show a greater degree of peace regarding my children's future. The Bible says nothing (even bad results!) can ever separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:29).

As far as I can see, Christian parents are just as likely to send our children for tuition and enrichment classes as non-Christian parents. Nothing wrong with that but why do we do that? Is it to enhance our childrens' education or is it driven by anxiety and fear? If we do it for their education, do we do it to the extent that they have no time for play? Studies have shown repeatedly how crucial play is to a child's emotional well being. Yet we think it is ok to sacrifice that for one more hour of studies, hoping that will bring better results and an assurance of a better future (and when I say we, I also mean me).

The Lingering Effects of the System

Those school days when I still had hair!

This question is also important to me not just as a concerned parent but now that I am starting my Masters course pre-work, I can already feel some of my old 'ghosts' coming back to haunt me. 


I was not very fun as a kid. I was one of those who focused a lot of my energy on academic perfection. Doing well in exams was more or less the one main goal in my life. I sacrificed family holidays, leisure pursuits, disciplined myself to study every night and weekends. My wife, Marie had experienced firsthand my stress levels when I was taking exams as an adult some years back. She told me that it was no fun being with me during those times.


Having gone through the system, I find the lingering effects of the system in my life. There certainly is pride in there. I thought myself superior than others just because I scored better marks. I was unforgiving of myself for each mistake I made. As a working adult, I am more demanding and critical of people than I should be. I feel insecure when I do not perform well at work - I think people will not like me because I've made a mistake or let something slip.

Education - Tool or Master?

I believe the answer to the question of how Christians should respond differently is found in Matthew 22:15 - 22. In this passage, the religious leaders asked Jesus if they should pay taxes i.e. to obey human government and institutions. They were trying to trap Jesus to see if he would renounce tax paying, thereby calling for a revolt against human authority and government. Jesus' answer was sublime - “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” 

So with regards to our education system, what DO we give to 'Caesar'?

Proud achievements!

As a tool, I think our education system is pretty sharp.  Our education system does a fairly good job to ensure that our children are suitably educated not just for our local setting but also the international arena. Some countries of the world and even some cities in the US may not be able to claim that. I believe we should, and also expect out children to, render a reasonable amount of hard work. For whatever ill effects the education system has had on me, the skills, discipline and knowledge that I have learnt through my schooling years are still of good value to me now as an adult. Where effort is put in, there are valuable rewards from our education system.


What we do not render to 'Caesar' and only to God is our whole lives and our goals. The Bible tells us to love our God with "all our heart and our soul and our minds". I think for me, it takes great effort to constantly check myself from crossing that line from seeing education as a tool to education being my Master. It is when we see education as a Master that we are driven by fear and guilt. The pressures to bow down to it are relentless.  Education can be a demanding and unforgiving task master in Singapore. It seems like it will only be pleased with nothing but perfect scores.


We have to reject the education system as our Master and turn to God instead who is loving, gracious and merciful. When I pray to God to help me study harder, get better results, in the name of doing 'good' work for God. Am I really saying that or am I actually asking God to help me meet the demands of my Education Master? God will not do that.

By Prayer and supplication ... and then Peace

A case in point - when I was studying for my 'O' levels exam, I listened to a sermon on Philippians 4: 6-7. The preacher said that we should honestly tell God whatever we wanted in our hearts. He may not give us what we want but He will give us peace. 


So I had been studying really hard and I thought I deserved the marks. So I asked God "Promise me that You will give me 8 A1s" - an A1 for every subject I was studying. I can still remember it as if it just happened. It was night time and I was in my room. Immediately I heard a clear voice say in my head "Why do you need that (i.e. 8 A1s) when you have Me?" That was it. God made it clear to me that He would not give me what I asked for because I was building my security in that instead of Him. Yet, those words from God gave me a peace. The funny thing was that from the 'O' levels onward, I've never gotten a perfect score for any of my exams. There would always be one subject where the result sort of went 'wonky' and I missed my expected marks. Each time I looked at the result slip, I would hear God remind me "You don't need that, you have Me." God has held true to this promise all these years.

Learning Grace and Mercy & Showing a better way
In asking us to continue to pay taxes to Caesar, Jesus is asking us to continue to be part of and to engage the human systems in our societies. As Christians, we should continue to call out for changes to the system to better reflect the love and grace of God. We should try more to accommodate those who are not able to show 'A' grades despite their best efforts. God's heart goes out to those who are weak, poor, brokenhearted, undefended. Systems that honour God must behave in the same way as well.

I want to be just like my big brother!

If I am going to reflect more of God to my kids, I think I would say more frequently "It's OK, let's just try again." I would give them more hugs instead of scolding. I would help them more to learn and understand instead of expecting them to get it right on their own by studying harder and longer.


We get flustered, angry, agitated, anxious, fearful when we think the education system will take care of us. God asks us to engage the system but He never asks us to depend on the system to take care of us or our children. It is His desire to take care of us and He will do that infinitely better than any human system could ever do.

As I was writing this blog, the words from this worship song struck me. Surely we have every reason to be at peace when we trust in our God who is "More Than Amazing".


More Than Amazing by Lincoln Brewster:
You're the one who walked on water
And You calmed the raging seas
You command the highest mountains
To fall upon their knees ....

You are amazing
More than amazing
Forever our God
You're more than enough
You are amazing

Interviews - getting to the heart of the matter

Being Interviewed
I mentioned in my previous blog of my intention to pursue a Masters course. This came with an interview early this month by the school's Admissions Committee. I was a bit nervous because it's been a while since I've been interviewed but the interviewers were incredibly kind and patient, especially with the interview conducted via Skype. At times I could see the interviewers having a quizzical look - I spoke too fast and said too much. However, I'm glad to announce that they've accepted me into the course. They also gave such nice comments about my performance.

Would the boys follow my profession?

Being an Interviewer
So in a way, I've come round a full circle. A few months ago I received an e-mail inviting me to interview candidates seeking admission to a local university faculty. I said 'yes' and spent 2 days doing that this month. It chewed big chunks out of my schedule and gave my secretary nightmares but I'm really glad I did it.

Stories!
What I enjoyed about the sessions were the stories that I got to hear. These eager young men and women came to convince us of their achievements, commitment and sincerity to pursue this profession. They spoke of their families, friends, life in school and the military (National Service). Many were leaders in social and volunteer groups. Some were accomplished athletes, artists or musicians. We were told of their role models and teachers who nurtured them. They described the joys of life and even the sorrows of witnessing death.

For us interviewers, what the candidate said was as important as what he / she was really saying and how he / she said it. Certainly some degree of preparation was helpful but over-preparation stuck out like a sore thumb. Many candidates rattled off a litany of standard 'I'm here to change the world, heal the sick, help the poor' statements. We probed hard to find the genuine candidates.

Doors may close but is this the only one?
Simple maths would show that when there are more applicants than places, then not every applicant can be accepted. I felt burdened for the candidates that spoke as if their entire lives had been a series of decisions and actions leading to this one interview. As I explained to some of them, a world of options was opened to them with their achievements. To me, the interviews were really more like career guidance to assess if they had a long term fit with the profession; rather than tests to be passed or failed. Not being accepted to the faculty was not a closed door but an open door to the many other options available to them.

I'm good, aren't I?
I don't think many of the candidates bought that. The truth is that everyone of us when we're being assessed, want to be found acceptable, even excellent. As a perfectionist, I run a daily, ongoing interview in my mind - 'Why did you do that?', 'Why did you say that?', 'What do you think they would think of you?', 'Is this your best attempt or could you have done better?', 'What did you write in that email? Why didn't he respond to it?'. More often than not, I find myself wanting in these internal interviews. Some days the interviews are so loud and so persistent in my mind I can only turn to God and ask to know that in His grace I am acceptable, even loved in my imperfections.

Would they want to?

I wish I could keep all these thoughts within myself but inadvertently they leak out. At work, my bosses are really winsome people but I just cannot fully relax in their presence because of this monologue in my head. I think my bosses find me wanting so I find myself wanting (actually from my annual reports, they're quite happy with my work; which makes my internal monologue even sadder, doesn't it?). I am tense, always ready to jump to my own defense.

One of my favourite questions at the interview sessions (and I'll tell this to you because no candidate will actively prepare for it) is "Tell me about a time when you met with failure and how you handled it". Invariably, this question would be met with a stunned look and a long pause. These high performing young men and women came brimming with tales of success and did not expect to be asked about their failures. I guess some degree of awareness that life will not always be smooth sailing is useful. I remember my first year university exam results - not having any 'A's in the results slips and not being anywhere near the top of the class was a big shocker to me. The rest of my university days were to prove that I was a competent student but no where near outstanding amongst a cohort of brilliant contemporaries.This was a fact of life I had to learn to accept.

Jesus does interviews completely different
If there's anything I'm learning from these interviews, it's that I need to learn more of grace then of competence. God drew me to a passage in the Bible that actually recorded an interview. This one was conducted for a man who had failed miserably. In John 21, Jesus appeared to Peter and some other disciples. Peter had sworn that he would remain faithful to Jesus at all costs. At the crucial moment of Jesus' trial and crucifixion, the rooster had crowed as Jesus had predicted, signaling the three times Peter had denied Jesus publicly. He broke down in tears of regret and grief when he realised his own failure.

There's much that I can learn from Jesus. He knows that broken people need not be broken any further but instead need to be loved.. Yet, not a soft, cottony wooly illusion of love but a tough love - the real stuff. The type of real, deep love that we all want to be loved with.

Jesus appeared by a beach, beside a crackling fire, cooking fish and bread (Jesus cooked! How amazing!). As mothers know, there is nothing like a well-cooked meal to create a sense of warmth and security. Jesus must have known that would draw Peter in. Repair of a life always begins with the willingness for one to open his heart.

That does not exclude tough Questions!
But Jesus did not shy away from asking Peter the tough questions. Three times he asked: “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He probed to find out the real answer, each of these questions pierced deep into Peter's heart and caused him pain.


 John 17:3 "The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”. Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” 


He did this more for Peter's sake because He already knew what was in Peter's heart. It was Peter who needed to have an honest, clear understanding of the secrets in his own heart - the weakness, the lack of reliability hiding in there.


Trust him with your life

I can be anything God wants me to be!

The best thing one can do to repair a broken  man is to entrust him with what is most important to you. To each of Peter's answers, Jesus entrusted him with his sheep (the church). Not once was there recrimination for the betrayal by Peter at those crucial moments. Instead Jesus gave Peter the chance to try again. 


“Feed my lambs.”, “Take care of my sheep.”,  Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

As I write this, God is also asking me "Chi Hong, do you love me more than these?". I think it will take me time to find the real answer and God will not stop till I know what that answer is. He already knows me and I am thankful that whatever answer I eventually give, God will still trust me with His work. Ultimately what we all want is to know we are loved and trusted even when we are terribly flawed - in God we will find that to be true.

Post Script:
This week, I conducted orientation for a bunch of new recruits who have finished their university learning and taking their first steps into the profession. I am glad to report that most of them are still bright eyed and enthusiastic.When someone asked "Do you think that you can still change the world?", I am glad that at least one young man said "Yes!" in a very loud voice. It seems the interviewers five years ago had chosen right. There is hope yet :)

This is a video by a couple of guys called the Skit Guys. I love them - they're funny, they like to laugh and in the process, they also teach God's truth. You can find more of their skits at http://skitguys.com/


Here, they re-enact Jesus' conversation with Peter, well, it's terribly Americanized but still a picture is worth a thousand words I suppose.

                     

Career Choices

Will I be missing out on this?

Taking up a Masters Course 
- Wise or Foolish?
Recently I decided that I should pursue a part-time Masters course (what? 4 kids, one under 6 months, a full time job - I must be a masochist of sorts). I asked my company if they were willing to sponsor my studies. "Sure," they said, "anything you want." The course I chose was somewhat niche so the company wanted to know if I wanted to consider a good MBA instead. "It'll come in useful some day if you become a CEO or COO."

Wow, talk about an ego booster! As we say locally I "can feel my head grow big already". As I prayed over my options, God reminded me that my career has not been a journey of pursuing higher positions and job titles. So far, as I pursued my passions at work with God's guidance, He has been providing me with career opportunities. If God wanted me to be a CEO or COO, then it would happen whether I had a MBA or not. There was no need to go pursuing one just for the sake of career opportunities.

So I informed my company that I was sticking to my choice. "I trust God to take care of my career." I said. While that sounded really good, God knew that I spoke this with a certain amount of pride. It was more important that I really believed this in my heart regardless of what happened.

God's Test
I believe God gave me a little test. Overnight and inexplicably I felt irrelevant to the company. Several key and important projects went ahead without the need for my input. At meetings when I gave my opinion, it came out wrong, sounding like criticism of my colleagues rather than constructive suggestions. I wasn't making significant progress with the projects assigned to me. It was as if I was once a major part of the river flow that was the life and work of the company. Now I was a pebble left on the river bank while the river flowed on without me.

I rationalised to myself that as much of my work involved writing policies, people came to me when the organisation was new to find out how to do this or that. Now that the organisation was more established, this need had diminished significantly. While this sounded logical, it felt hollow.

In this season of Lent, the 40 days before Easter when Christians ponder the significance of Jesus dying for us on the cross, God was asking me "do I really believe that my significance was fully based on my relationship with God?" My pastor said in a recent sermon "Walk before work" that we should always consider cultivating a relationship with God rather than merely 'doing' work for Him in His name. In Matthew 20: 1-16, Jesus tells a parable of workers hired to work in a vineyard. Each was promised a coin for the work regardless of when they started work. The workers who started work at the beginning of the day were unhappy that they got paid the same as those who started work only late in the day. From a HR perspective, indeed the remuneration in this parable made no sense. But when work is an opportunity to work with and know God more intimately, then pay will not weigh in so significantly.

Paul and Jesus - Career Role Models
In the Apostle Paul I have a good role model - "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith." Philippians 3: 8-9. Paul had all the right credentials in Jewish circles in his time but gave them up and became unpopular in those circles to pursue what he considered an unbeatable opportunity.

Even Jesus made career choices. Choose to be a carpenter; live an ordinary life. Choose to be the Messiah; be tortured and crucified on a cross. If you think that Jesus jumped at the chance to be the Messiah, you would be wrong. The attraction of any accolade pales when one knows that extreme physical pain is involved. Jesus agonised over what God called him to do as we see in His prayer in the hours before He was arrested:

Luke 22: 42-44: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

And if you thought that Jesus was a passive and powerless victim of the situation, think again. At the point of His arrest, He chose restraint and submission when He could have razed the place with Heavenly power. He said at the point of his arrest:
"Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?" Matthew 26:53

I would say a choice that ends in sure death is not a smart career move. Jesus chose to be Messiah not because He would benefit from it but only because His entire life was based on being in a loving, obedient relationship with God.

Yet the irony is that we are never short changed by God even when we make choices the way Jesus did. In His case, ultimate obedience and sacrifice was rewarded with resurrection from death and an eternal, heavenly accolade:

"And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,"
                                                             Philippians 2: 8-11

Fight, Flight or Peace? Learning God's Ways

I learnt one thing in this episode - when I perceive I'm in a disadvantaged position, my natural tendency is to argue even more for my point, to fight even more to establish my position. I would also have become a more obnoxious character in the work place - like a child in a sandbox crying, screaming and kicking my legs because nobody wanted to play according to my 'rules' (policies) anymore.


What God wanted for me was exactly the opposite. If my opinions were not needed then I should be silent. If policies were no longer the top concern of the organisation, then find other ways to add value to the work. The funny thing was when I kept quiet, people started coming around to ask me what I thought; and that included my CEO who popped into my room one day saying he was sorry that he had to cut short a meeting as he had really wanted to know what I thought at that meeting (that made my day :)

Trusting God sometimes seem like a bad career choice. It goes counter to what career guidance books teach. These books create fear of missed opportunities and unrecognised talents and drive us to actions to ensure our own superior positions at work.


God does not promise that. He promises a different certainty - a certainty that rests in Himself, the One who created and is in control of everything in this universe. Faith in Him is being willing to hold His hand and walk instep with Him into a future that is unknown to me but fully known to Him.

40 days by Matt Maher

This interesting YouTube video depicts Jesus' 40 Days of fasting in the desert and how He finds a greater sense of Himself and His destiny when every physical comfort is taken from Him.

Words worth pondering over again:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

   and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord
                                                             Philippians 2: 5-11